Paper Heart Poetry

Part 1:He Ruined Me

This Is stuff I wrote at 2am on those days when I felt like I was going to just stop trying ...to give up... and writing has got me through it.

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You can skip this first one...it is really long ...please comment any thoughts

She knew he was gone,
But he remained omnipresent.

In her head,
And in her heart.

He's attached himself to her soul.

He left,
But he left with her sanity.

She wants to block him out,shield her frantic mind and,
Forget that he ever existed.

Convince herself that he was just a figment of her imagination.

But honestly...no thought could be that cruel.
Everyday he haunts her thoughts, drowning them in his black ocean of darkness.

She felt as if she could simply fool herself into believing she'd forgotten him,
But the sad truth is that she never will,he'd made sure of that.

He is the slow tick-rock of a wallclock that makes you notice every painful second.

He haunts her dreams.
He rules her nightmares,like a ravenous snake never fully satisfied.

He tore away any last shred of hope she'd had for humanity.
Fuck,he stole her humanity altogether.

He is the impediment of her stolen innocence.

She wished she could pretend he didn't still effect her.
She may fool them .

But why can't she make myself believe?

He taught her the true meaning of being numb,
Because that's all she'd felt after a while.

It was all she knew how to feel.

She got used to the empty days and the throbbing in her scared chest.
She got used to pleading for help with her eyes,
While offering outsiders empty promises,such as assurance that she was fine.

She wished she could pretend that she was okay with what happened,and mean it.
Wished she could revel in the fact that she had survived.

But...is this really surviving?

He broke her ,like a vase shattering after being thrown against a wall,
Melting away in a fire of hate and stone-cold rage.

And her family?
Oh he did a number on them to.

Now all she has is herself,
And even that makes her feel sick.

How can she live, her this empty shell ,when she is all too blantanly aware of this;

She knows her sharp edges will scar any who follow,
Her hollow soul is like a bottomless pit that would be to difficult to try fill.
The scars were too deep to ever truly heal.

Could anyone love and cherish something so incomplete?

In case you hadn't noticed yet,
This broken soul is me.
You see-- He's ruined me.

.
Please 🌟