25 Jan 2020, 8:34am

8 1 3
                                    

I long for
And cry for
I crawl for
And scream for

Her to look at me
See me
Love me
Her child

I yearn for her to
Express all the love she hid for
So long
Thinking it not her choice

Yet everyday I try
Earn it
Beg for it
And never end up getting it

And it's like a hot iron on my heart
Marking me as unlovable
Proving my suspicious
That love is never freely given

I am never worthy
Never will be worthy
Those that approach only give me false hope
So I fearfully reject

I am unloveable
Undeserving
Disgusting
A mess

These feelings have been etched
For so very long
How to escape this labyrinth
Ive been running around in my whole life

I will survive it
Overcome it
Teach myself to believe again
I am worthy and powerful and I will survive once more

She does not define me
Or my relationships
Or my heartaches or pain

I will forgive

I will be set free

I will be okay again

These thoughts I want to believe

-emotionally absent mother

Paper Heart PoetryWhere stories live. Discover now