Chapter 35
-Hare-
"Hi, Hare." Rage greeted me. Napaismid ako ng halikan nya ko sa pisngi.
"Anong ginagawa mo na naman dito?!"
Naiinis ako kasi ginamit nya si Baby Loki para sa pansiriling kadahilanan.
Napilit tuloy ako nila Mommy na magpakasal sakanya kahit na hindi pa ko sigurado kung gusto kob
"Dinadalaw ang mga anak ko. Saka yung future wife ko."
Nakangisi sya habang sinasabi yun. Mas ikinainis ko yung sinabi nya.
"Wala sila Lucy. Alam mong weekend. Doon ka dumalaw kila Daddy!"
"Ah oo nga noh. Pero ikaw nalang pala ang dadalawin ko saka si Baby Loki."
Hindi ko napigilan ang ginawa nyang paghalik sa tuktok ng tyan ko.
"Ano ba, Rage. Bakit ka ba kasi nandito? Hindi kita kailangan!"
Napatulala sya sa sinabi ko
First time kong magsabi ng ganoon sakanya.
Pero naiinis talaga ako sakanya
"Ano bang problema mo, Harelline? Is this about the wedding again?" Seryosong tanong nya.
"Oo!" Galit kong sagot.
"Ayaw mo ba talaga akong pakasalan? Akala ko ba napag-usapan na natin ito?" He looked frustrated and sad.
I sighed. "You know it's not like that. I just want to make sure about my feelings!"
"Hindi mo na talaga ako mahal!" Nagdadamdam nyang sabi.
I sighed exasperately. "Rage?! Gagamitin mo na naman ba ang pagmamahal na yan? You're so unfair!"
"Ikaw ang unfair, Harelline. You're using my feelings for you to be dominant over me!"
"What?! Ano ba yang sinasabi mo? Baka ikaw ang nanggagamit. Ginamit mo sila Mommy to inspite me."
RAGE
Napatampal ako sa noo. Why can't Hare understand me that I only did that because I love her?
Hanggang ngayon naiinis parin sya sakin dahil sa ginawa ko sa parents nya.
"You know it's not like that, Hare. You're just making excuses para hindi ka na magpakasal sakin."
-Harelline-
"Whoa? You really have the guts to tell me that, Mr. Vergara. We never had any relationship except the fact that we're fubus. Paano tayo magpapakasal ng walang relasyong namagitan satin?" I was so pissed about Rage.
"E di makipagrelasyon tayo sa isa't isa, ganoon lang naman kadali yun, 'di ba?"
I sighed exasperatedly. "Hindi gano'n kadali yun, Rage!"
"What do you want me to do?!"
"Wala kang daoat gawin!?!"
"Hahayaan mo nalang na lumaki ang mga anak kong hindi nila dala ang apelyido ko?"
Yan parin ang ipinaglalaban nya. "They can be Vergaras even if we don't get married, Rage!"
He looked pissed and angry. He looked like his name now. But I do not care.
"Tell me, Harelline. Bakit ba tutol ka sa pagpapakasal sakin?" There was more in his eyes besides anger.
"Gan'on ba talaga ako kasama para ayaw mo kong pakasalan?" Now I know what was into him.
Hatred ang pain.
I do not want to look like him like that. He was hurt? But why?
Hindi ako naniniwalang mahal nya ko. He did not even do anything except of what he said he loves me.
Love my ass?!
Words without actions are useless.
He said he loves me but it's useless. Because it's empty.
O kung meron man, kulang. Kulang ang pinapakita nya sakin.
I'm not hopeless romantic, rather I was. But...
I still believe in love in marriage.
Hindi ako magpapakasal sa isang taong hindi ako mahal.
Yeah, he loves my children. Pero hindi sapat yun...
Ang selfish ko, pero it's not just about my children.
Hindi naman kailangan ang kasal para iparamdam sa mga anak nya ang pagmamahal nito bilang ama.
"R-Rage, ayoko ng lalakeng pakakasalan ako pero hindi ako mahal,"
"Fvck! I love you, H-Harelline, bakit hindi mo yun maramdaman?!"
Umiling iling ako. "That's not the love I know."
Tumalikod ako sakanya.
He pulled me closer to him. "What about what happened to both of us? You allowed me to make love to you, Hare."
"That's not making love, it's having sex!"
He looked frustrated. "Kailangan ko pa bang ipakita ang pagkakaiba ng dalawang yon? Fine!" HBO E exclaimed.
Marahas nyang sinakop ang labi ko.
Hinayaan ko syang halikan nya ko. But I did not respond.
I closed my eyes as he nibbled my lips.
My knees became a Jell-O.
Pinaikot nya ang kamay bewang ko.
Then I remember baby Loki.
I'm sorry baby... I don't want to get hurt again, I need to do this!
Ilang minuto nyang pinagsasa ang bibig ko pero hindi ako tumugon.
I'm no stone. Malapit na kong madarang pero hindi pwede.
Pinikit ko ng mariin ang mata ko.
Pinigilan ko ang pagpatak ng luha sa mga mata ko pero pilit iyon kumawala.
I hate Rage for making me vulnerable.
This is not Harelline I know. This is not me.
I tried not to open my lips. Pinigilan kong hwag humikbi.
Ilang minuto din akong nakapikit.
And then I opened my eyes when he stopped kissing me.
"H-Harelline." He whispered my name.
I gasped when I saw tears on his eyes.
I made him cry again.
"I-I'm sorry!" He hugged me gently.
Napahikbi ako sa balikat nya.
"I h-hate you R-Rage," Pinalo palo ko ang balikat nya habang paulit ulit kong sinasabi yun.
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A/N: Sorna, nung Sunday ko dapat ito ipopost. Nitatamad lang akong magbyahe.
May kasunod pa itong chapter. And please, read the author's note after reading THIRTY SIX.
