Breaking Free

Matt (19)

Hi. How're you? I'm good. (Excuse my weirdness. Just pretend we're having a casual conversation) what've you all been up to. Better not be breaking the law. I'll beat your butts. Or I have the power to control the story. Better keep out of trouble. Have a nice day.
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I got a text from Jaxon when I was just sitting on my bed. Haylee was down on the bottom bunk with Gabe. I fucking hate her. I may act nice around her, but she is annoying as hell and whenever I'm there she seems too protective over Gabe.

Like I'm gonna do something to him. He's not gay.

I jumped down from the bunk. She moved slightly closer to Gabe.

Gabe didn't seem to notice a thing.

"Bye guys, I've got places to be." I yawned and stretched a little bit and left.

I walked down the hall, up the stairs, to the left and walked down a few doors to find Jaxons door.

I opened it and he was sitting on his bed cuddling a pillow.

"Hey, babe." I said.

"Hey." He said. He sounded sad.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"There's something. Tell the truth."

"I just think... I don't see as much of a... Spark... Between us." He looked around the room trying not to cry.

"Should we talk about it?" I didn't want to lose him.

"No. There's nothing to talk about. I don't see anything anymore."

"B-but." I said. My voice was cracking. "I can't lose you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

He looked like he felt terrible. That's Jaxon. He's super sweet.

"I-I'm sorry. I hope you know, I love every piece of you, but you know how things work out after you know everything about someone, it gets boring, nothing exiting happens."

I nodded my head and held back tears.

"Do you want your stuff back?" He asked. A tear escaped his eyes.

I nodded and bit my lip trying not to cry.

I grabbed my stuff and said goodbye to Jaxon.

I threw it into the room. I wanted to break down. I want to give up. I don't want to do anything.

I remembered my razor had blades in it.

I pulled a blade out of the razor and looked at it for a minute. I saw the sharp edges and how painful it must've felt when Gabe did it.

He seemed to have felt better when he was done. Maybe it'll work for me?

I overcame my fear and slid it quickly across my wrist.

I saw the blood gush out and I grabbed the towel (*insert serenity's Dan Towell joke here*) and pushed it on the fresh wound. I took the towel off of and felt the blood drip down my arm. It stereo to feel good. I did it again... And again... And one last time.

I cleaned it all up and put the blade back in my razor. (Isn't that how it works? Idk. It's 3:09 AM)

I wrapped it up in toilet paper and then put a brace on it, to make it look like I hurt it doing something in sports or something.

I went to the same side of the building where I met Jaxon and sat there for about 20 minutes.

I decided I should go somewhere, anywhere.

I went to Shaun's dorm.

It was a bad idea. I know. You don't have to tell me that I made a mistake. I honestly couldn't care less.

I knocked on his door.

He answered.

"Hey." I said in a small voice.

"Hey!" He said happily. "I was waiting for the day when you'd come here again."

"No, Shaun. I know what you're thinking. I'm not here for that."

His face dropped.

"Well. Come in. I have some beer under the bathroom sink."

I walked in.

His room was clean. It had the same feeling that Jaxons room has.

He went and grabbed the beer and handed me the bottle. It was gone fast, like 1 minute fast.

"Woo! That was fast!" He said.

He gave me his unopened one and grabbed a few more from under the sink.

I drank his fast too. I grabbed another. None of it stopped the pain I was feeling.

"I'm gonna head back to my dorm. It's getting pretty late." I said. I wasn't drunk. I was hardly tipsy. I apparently had an alcohol tolerance.

"Ok. I'll see you at school tomorrow."

I went back to the dorm and just laid there, on my bed.

I decided that Gabe wasn't coming home that night. I broke down.

I was shocked when I heard the door open.

I stopped and hid my pain.

"H-hey Matt? Haylees staying the night with us tonight." I was quiet. I didn't want to talk, my arm is sore and I was trying to hold back the tears that were desperately trying to escape me.

Haylee put one of Gabes shirts on.

Maybe I should move on to girls. I am sick of guys.

One problem though: I am not attracted to women. I don't mean that to be rude, not like old, sexist, assholes. (*whispers brocket to serenity and giggles like a five year old*) Like, I just don't get turned on by them, I don't feel the urge to date them.
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I didn't hear Gabe snoring lightly, so he wasn't asleep, but I heard Haylee.

I didn't sleep. My arm hurts way too much. My emotions are trying to take over my entire head.
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Well, I guess I'll leave off there. I didn't even expect me to write that. Damn. Well. Hope you aren't too upset with me. Matts just upset. I personally think Jaxon would be super cute with Matt, but you know, Mabe is better, so, that has to happen. Sorry all Maxon shippers.