Breaking Free

Matt (9)

I'm at a "party" and I fell asleep for an hour or two.

I opened the closet door and saw two naked girls, one was eating the other out. Oh lord. I closed the door again and waited a few minutes before I pounded on the door then I heard them both scurrying to get out of the room.

I'm still extremely drunk, but I know I want to get back to my dorm.

I realize I'm wearing no pants.

Where the fuck are my pants?! Pants don't just go missing!

Then I remembered. DAMN IT! FUCK! WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST DO?

I stormed back into that room and grabbed my pants, pulled them on and went desperately trying to look for my emo roommate.

I hope he went home, this part was terrible. I hate it here. I love Gabe. Hell, how can I say I love someone I just met two days ago? How can I say I love someone if I just had another person suck my dick?

"FUCK!" I screamed out when I left the dorm.
-
I stumbled into our door. I was sad and drunk, I hate myself.

I got onto the top bunk after I saw a sleeping ball named Gabe.

He had a sweater and sweatpants on, odd. It was super hot in here.

I fell asleep almost instantly.
-
At around 3:30 A.M. I woke up because, hangover.

I went to the bathroom and saw some bandage wrappers lying on the sink. I went to throw them away when I noticed a blade.

I walked out to the actual dorm and furiously turned the light on.

A groggy Gabe woke up and looked at me as if I were crazy.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" I screamed at him.

"What?" He said in a small voice.

"Give me your arm."

"No."

"Give me your arm!" I yelled aggressively.

"No!" He yelled at me and stood up.

I walked angrily over to him and grabbed his arms and saw him wince when I touched his left arm.

I loosened my grip in fear of hurting him but pulled his sleeve up too see it covered in bandages.

I pulled one of them off to reveal a line of red and dried blood.

I looked at him. I was scared.

I don't know what to say to him.

He pulled his arm away.

"Who the hell do you think you are?! You have no right..." He said. The end was in a small voice. He couldn't stay strong throughout it.

I went to hug him but he pushed me away.

"Get the fuck away from me." He said.

I was on the verge of tears, I wanted to hug him and kiss him and tell him how sorry I was, I didn't want to lose him. I already lost my mom and my dad I don't want to lose who will hopefully be the love of my life.

I took a deep breath and stormed out of the dorm out into the hall.

I heard a loud crash from the room, I walked back in to find nothing broken, just both of my drawers thrown across the room.

Jesus, for an emo boy, he's pretty strong.

I picked my drawers up and placed them back in their original spot and turned the lights off. I was not about to argue more.

I couldn't hold back tears. They silently fell down my face. I can't believe I was so fucking dumb. I can't believe I had to ruin everything.

But I couldn't just leave him to cut himself more. I knew that's what would happen if I didn't confront him. I'm going to be watching him for the next few days.
-
"Hey, baby. Want another session now?" I heard Shaun say in gym. (A/n: I should've said that guys name is Shaun. Well, too late now.)

"Go fuck yourself." I said.

"Come watch if I do, babe." He said. Fuck, he is annoying. Why, drunk me? Why the fuck did you ever pick this guy over Gabe? Now you already lost your oral virginity. (A/n I'm just using this, I have something else planned. So, just go along.)

I ignored him.
-
I went back up to the dorm during lunch, because that's where I knew Gabe would be.

He was.

I walked into our room and climbed onto my bunk.

Gabe didn't even look up at me.

He had headphones in.

I went into the bathroom and didn't see any new razor blades, I hid the last one so he couldn't try to be smart and use that one again.

About 10 minutes later I saw Gabe get up and that meant it was time for class.
-
I decided "fuck it" and I skipped last period.

I wanted to make it there before Gabe so he would notice me. (A/n Gabe is his senpai. Ok, you can read again.)

I got into the room again and decided to look through his stuff, I didn't want to find pills or blades, or anything else that would hurt him.

I found his music stash.

My Chemical Romance, I've heard them before. They're really good. Twenty Øne Piløts, (Sørry as a TØP fan I have tø put the line thrøugh the ø's) really good, Shinedown, really good, Panic! At The Disco, really good, and a lot of other bands with at least 3-4 albums each.

I popped in Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge because I liked the cover, and a few of the songs I've heard are on there.

I lost track of time and I heard the door open. (A/n *insert caveman spongebob meme*)

I didn't have time to shut the music off... Oh shit.

"What the fuck! Why are my albums spread out on my bed?!" He said angrily.

"I-I just wanted to listen... I swear, I've heard of most of these bands, I just wanted to listen... I'm sorry." I stuttered.

He didn't take it out but he took the albums off of his bed and put his albums back where they were neatly.

Oh, God! Why do I have to insist on screwing everything up.

I gave up and fell asleep right then and there. I was disappointed in myself and I was embarrassed. I felt terrible for going through his stuff, and I felt terrible for even thinking about going to that party last night, let alone going and getting sucked off by someone other than the one I want.