Breaking Free

Gabe?

A/N Long time no see... or write? Blame Yuri On Ice!!!

After Matt walked out I just stood and stared at the door, "Gabe?" Haylee started, she went to touch my shoulder. I flinched and whispered a faint 'go away.' she looked like she was going to protest but decided against it and left.

I sat down on my bed processing what had just happened, then for no reason I felt a burst of anger. Anger at Matt, anger at myself and anger at his parents. I couldn't believe he'd do this to me, just played me along and pretended to love me. I knew it wasn't true, I knew he did love me deep down but I couldn't think straight.

I stood up, I could feel my face getting red with anger. I stalked over to the tiny book shelf before flinging it to the floor, the books and items on the shelf scattered everywhere. I picked up a few of the books, a few books I knew Matt actually liked and started ripping out the pages. I moved on to the desk placed in the corner of the room and threw it across the room. I looked at the mess I made before everything fully set in, he left me. I collapsed in the middle of the room and pulled my knees up to my chest as sobs wrecked through my body.

Everyone leaves me, they always tell me they'll stay but then break their promise and throw me away like I was nothing. I don't blame them, I'm a burden, I'm selfish and stupid. I'm negative and spiteful, my looks are at most average and I'm to scrawny. How can someone truly love you if you don't even love yourself?

I crawled over to the desk that was now on it's side and pulled out a pen and paper, I wrote about how I loved him even after everything and it would be okay. I folded the paper after I was done and wrote in all caps 'MATT' before getting up and setting it on my bed. I made my way into our-my bathroom, I was going to show just how selfish I could be, I no longer cared if it hurt anyone else. who was let for it to hurt? I was alone, Haylee didn't need me and Emma was to young to remember me.

I looked in the mirror, my eyes were bloodshot and my cheeks were stained with tears. I reached into the cabinet pulling out my anxiety pills, Xanax, before dumping a handful out. I grabbed a plastic cup and filled it with water before dumping the pills in my mouth and swallowing them with the water. I looked in the mirror again before drawing my fist back and smashing it into the glass, it shattered and cut my hand but I didn't care. I picked up a piece of glass and stared at it before dragging it deeply across my already scarred wrist.

My vision became spotted black and it became hard to stand, I slid to the floor before everything went blank.

Haylee's POV (Didn't expect that did you?)

I shouldn't have left him alone, what the fuck was I thinking? I made my way to Gabe's room before letting myself in, I was worried. my eyes widened at the mess, I made my way to his bed and picked up a note with Matt's name and stuffed it in my pocket, a sinking feeling making my way to my stomach. I heard a crash in the bathroom and ran as fast as I could, I paled when I saw Gabe sprawled on the floor covered in blood. I dug my phone out of my pocket and dialed 911 and told them what happened before crawling over to Gabe and checking his pulse, it was faint but it was there. I rocked him in my arms as I cried, we sat like that for maybe 10 minutes before the ambulance took him, I rode with them to the hospital.

It all went by to quickly, we had contacted his family and they were on their way and I was in the waiting room. My back was killing me and these couches didn't go well with a 6 month pregnant belly, I have been trying to get a hold of Matt for the last hour. It went straight to voicemail again and I gave up, I looked up and I saw the people I remembered as Gabe's parents and his sister in the doorway.

"Have there been any news." His mom's voice cracked and I sadly shook my head no. Both Mr. and Mrs. Benedict looked like they hadn't had any sleep in days, we sat for a few more hours before a doctor came out and called out for the Benedict family.

"I'm so very sorry, Gabe has just came out of surgery. We had to pump his stomach and replace the blood he had lost, we had to put him under a medically induced coma until we are sure he is stable enough to function on his own. There's a 50% chance he won't make it but we're hopeful." We were informed by the young female doctor.

"Can we see him?" I asked her. She nodded, "One at a time, who's up first." to everyone's surprise Gabe's dad stepped forward, "Okay, this way sir." She led him out.

John's(Gabe's dad) POV

It's my fault, I was a terrible father. I always told myself I wouldn't be like my dad as a kid but those hopes were fruitless. I loved Gabe, I did, I was just scared. I felt like someone punched me in the gut when I saw his pale body sleeping soundly, he looked dead. The sight brought back something that happened 25 years back, the reason I became the way I did. The doctor left to give us some privacy.

I sat down beside him and took his hand in mine, it was ice cold, "Gabe, I'm so so sorry. I wish I could change the things I did, the things I said." I started to shake and tears slipped free, "I love you so much."

The same events played out 25 years ago to a much younger me, 2 years before I met Gabe's mom. I was a stupid teenager, I was curious and rebellious. My parents always hated that about me, tried to snuff out all of my personality. It had begun to work, my eyes became duller and I barley talked, then a boy moved to town. His name was Jasper, he was wild and free spirited, he didn't care what anyone said and was instantly hated in town. I mesmerized by him and for some reason he noticed me.

We were always side by side, never leaving each others side. We got into a lot of trouble and had the most fun doing it, my parents couldn't control me and we were getting closer and closer. One night we were just laying in my room, snow falling outside. "Have you ever kissed anyone, Johnny?" He asked looking at me.

I almost choked and my face burned red, "Jes! that's not something you just ask someone!" I sputtered out and tried to hide my face. He grabbed my hands and interlocked our fingers, my eyes widened.

"I'll take that as a no." He said before dipping his head down and kissed me, it was slow and long and perfect. He pulled away and smiled down at me, "I love you." he whispered.

"I-I think I love you too." I said before pulling him down for another kiss, I felt him smile against my lips. My door flung open at that moment and my dad came in, he froze when he saw us.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing!" He roared, we sprung apart. He marched over and grabbed Jasper by the collar of his shirt before punching him in the face. "Dad, stop!" I tried to pull him off but he just threw me like I weighed nothing. He dragged Jes out of the house before telling him to never come back. I cried all night before I heard a tap on my window, I opened it to see Jasper perched on my window seal, "Let's get out of here." He whispered, he didn't have to convince me, I dressed ad packed all I needed before climbing out with him.

We jumped in his car before taking off, "I can't believe we're doing this." I laughed and grabbed his hand that wasn't holding the wheel. He was going a bit fast, "Don't you think we should slow down? It's pretty icy out"

"Live a little, it's okay." He laughed, his laugh calmed my nerves but I was still a bit uneasy. He lost control of the wheel and crashed that night, I made it out with a few scrapes and bruises but Jasper died in a coma a week later.

Haylee's POV

I still couldn't get a hold of Matt, it's been a week and Gabe has made no signs of recovery. I somehow got the secretary from school get me Matt's address and taking the bus to his house. It was a small house, it was nice and neat and looked like it came from one of those suburban magazines. I knocked on the door to be greeted with non other than Matt, "What do you want?" He deadpanned.

"M-Matt, Gabe-" He went to shut the door but I stuck my foot between the door before he could. I pulled out the note Gabe had wrote to Matt and handed it to him, "Read." He looked at me for a second before taking it and unfolding it.

He gasped when he was done, eyes wattering, "He's d-dead?"

"No, but he's in a coma and we're not sure if he's going to make it." I let him process that.

"Let me go get a jacket, I'm coming."

A/N I'm not sorry