Never Enough

eighteen.

Mia.

"Thank you so much for letting me stay here," I uttered as I climbed onto the guest bed.

"It's not a problem! I'm happy to help," Sarah gleamed.

I was glad she didn't ask any questions. I really wasn't in the mood to talk about all my mistakes and how they led me here.

After I left the boys apartment, I called Sarah asking her if it would be okay if I could stay with her for a night, then leave in the morning and go back home.

I would've went home tonight but I didn't want them to find me. I couldn't bare the look on their faces; I knew they both didn't want anything to do with me anymore.

I somehow managed to ruin two perfectly good friendships within the same week, for the same thing.

I'm an idiot.

Quite honestly, I had no clue how I felt about all of this. I knew that removing myself from their lives would help mend their relationship, but I also knew that removing myself from their lives would rip my heart to shreds.

My heart told me to go for Grayson but every time Ethan looks at me, I fall for him. He always looks at me like I'm the most beautiful thing in the entire world, and he holds me as if I was the most fragile thing he's ever touched.

It's hard to stay away from him, regardless of my heart telling me he's not the one.

Grayson was complicated. He was moody and aggressive. He was impulsive and violent.

All of these things would make anyone turn the other way but I know him.

Yeah, he's all those things but he can be soft, and gentle. He can be sweet and kind. He can be seductive and warm.

His mysterious, dark vibe drew me into him, but his sweet and caring side made me fall for him fast. Faster than I would've hoped for.

I knew kissing Ethan was a mistake as soon as it happened; I just couldn't help but like the feeling of his lips on mine.

I wanted Grayson, and that's why I pushed Ethan away; regardless of how much it hurt to see the look on his face. I deserved to be kicked out of his room tonight, I really did.

"Let me know if you need anything," she smiled and left the room, closing the door behind her.

••••

I don't think I got an ounce of sleep last night. I stayed up reminiscing on all the horrible mistakes I've made in the past few weeks.

It was around 10am and I figured it was time to finally get up and head home. I don't want to bother Sarah more than I already have. I'm surprised she even let me stay here last night considering we aren't that close and we just met.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and picked up my phone that was resting on the bed side table.

My stomach dropped once I saw I had 26 missed calls and 18 texts from Maddi, 44 missed calls and 23 texts from Ethan, and 35 missed calls and 38 texts from Gray.