Help me find a way to breathe [Oli Sykes FF]

Chapter 21

HELLO THERE LITTLE FELLAS! It's been a long fucking time, like seriously. Get your shit together, myself. (Nothing wrong about talking with yourself everyonce in a while). So, as you may know, I'm writing class test after class test which is why it's very hard for me to work on this.

But I'm trying my best, as you can see. And I hope it's good enough. Another two weeks and I'll be on vacation for a little while, so don't worry! I'm gonna keep you guys updated.

I wanted to dedicate this chapter to @RecklessMartinez just because idk, I squeal like the little annoying fangirl I am when I see she's updated something or just simply posted a status IDK I ADMIRE HER WORK SO MUCH! I worship you, guuurl! xD Now you're probably freaked out, aren't you? ._.

MEH enough for the long talk, no one cares anyways haha. Song for this chapter is Never Enough - Five Finger Death Punch. I actually don't know what to think about this band, I mean their songs are fucking awesome but something about them just bothers me in a certain way. Picture on the side is Cassie. Finally found a "model" that fits her in my opinion yet I have no idea what the woman is called my god xD Well, have fun with the chapter now please :3

Cassandra's POV:

"All done", the woman smiled. I examined my reflection, quite satisfied with the outcome of my new style. I just had to change everything, start from zero. "I like it!", I smiled, shuffling in my bag. "How much would that be?"

"40£ should do", the hair stylist smiled at me. I gave her an surprised look. "Look, just take this, okay? You did really great", I shook my head laughing softly as I gave her 60£ which was definitely not too much for all the effort she put in my hair. I now wore it a bit shorter and dyed it from whiteblond to dark brown, almost black with a slight ombre effect.

"Have a nice day", I smiled at the woman behind the counter before I left the salon. A small sigh escaped my lips as I stepped outside, the cold winter air greeting me. I slightly wrapped my arms around myself to not freeze to death before I started walking down the street. I could just go home, make myself comfortable, maybe continue working on the new tattoo designs but I didn't feel like it. I felt like doing nothing but getting my mind off of things.

It's been over a year since Oliver.. well this incident happened. A few days after the guys suggested I should leave, Jordan texted me. He told me that Oli had woken up and he seemed to be fine. Nothing more. That's all the info I had to know about though, whether he was alright or not. Since then I've never talked to any of the lads anymore.

Except for Hannah. Well she's not really included in Bring Me The Horizon, yeah but I think you know what I mean. We're not talking much though, barely. We just happened to work at the same place which got us closer to each other again, I guess. I don't even know if the others are aware of Hannah and me still being in contact with each other but it didn't matter. We only chatted from time to time, it wasn't the same friendship it used to be, clearly.

We'd also never talk about what happened and we never mentioned Oli once. Maybe it was because we both didn't know what to add to it but I think it was mostly because there wasn't anything to say. I fucked up and it's obvious that he's better off without me. After he woke up, I immediately quitted my job at Drop Dead and tried contacting other model labels but they were all filled and didn't need another model.

Somewhen I just randomly met Hannah again and we talked for a bit. I even followed her to her tattoo shop and well, I just loved watching her working. It amazed me and I tried it for myself. Well not with a tattooneedle, obvious pretty much. Just a pencil and paper. Hannah kind of teached me how to get better at drawing and now I basically worked for her. I drew designs for her tattoo shop and also managed to find a few "great fans of my amazing work" (as they use to call it) to sell them to. It was actually a great thing to do, I enjoyed it very much, it was fun and I just loved it.