Help me find a way to breathe [Oli Sykes FF]

Chapter 32

HOLY MACARONI! It's been forever since I uploaded a new chapter for this story. I'm terribly sorry. It's just that I gotta keep my grades up unless I want to repeat 10th grade, which would suck. I can easily get through this year but to be honest, I'm put under much pressure and there's a lot going on which is bothering me so that kind of makes it harder for me to concentrate on school. Seeing as school keeps me busy and I'm not very motivated with basically anything it's sort of hard for me to sit my ass down and keep working on this story or basically any of my stories.

But I don't want to delete them and I sure as hell don't want to give up writing. I'd love to continue this and that's thansk to you. Writing was just some hobby for me but since you guys actually seem to like my work, it's even more fun. It's helping me to cope with so many things and I couldn't be more thankful for all your support. You guys rule! Thanks a lot <3

The song for this chapter is Kiss Me Again - We Are The In Crowd (ft. Alex Gaskarth). The dedication goes to @Michellebvb for all your votes, I appreciate it!

Now have fun reading the chapter, don't forget to give me feedback in the comments (AND VOTE) and stay lovely xxo

Cassandra's POV:

To be honest, I still couldn't quite believe it. But I didn't think of questioning it for any of that matter. Why would I question it anyways? It certainly was reality and I couldn't be more happy about it. No matter what the reason was. Fate, god, I didn't care. I wouldn't ever question happiness, instead you're supposed to be thankful for it and enjoy it is all. In fact, I was more happy than I ever felt in my entire life. I felt complete again. Never in my whole life would I have thought that I could feel like this ever again.

I closed my eyes, allowing them some rest as I snuggled against Oliver's chest which was lifting a tiny little bit each time he'd breathe in and out again. If I concentrated on it, I could hear his heart beating and his calm breathing with the light snoring. I opened my eyes again, studying his face. His closed eyes caused his lashes to gently lie on his cheeks, twichting ever so slightly. My eyes wandered from his nose to his lips and to the beautiful rose tattoo which decorated his neck. It was then I realized how much I actually missed this. I needed Oliver in my life and I had no idea how I could survive even a day without him, let alone all the months I felt so lonely.

I felt like I got back from the dead.

I was alive again. Actually, really living.

And I knew I wasn't alone with that feeling. Oliver was alive too.

Even though he clearly wanted to give up. Even though he must've felt the exact same way, if not even worse. I couldn't help but notice the guilt washing over me once more. Yet again, we agreed on leaving the past behind. Starting from zero.

"Aren't you tired, love?", his sooth voice interrupted my thoughts. I looked up to him again, directly into his beautiful hazel eyes, feeling my heart beating faster within seconds. Only he had that affect on me and goddamn did I love it. "Nuh-uh", I shook my head no whispering while I shook my head slightly. "It's in the middle of the night, Cass. Try and get some rest, we gotta get up early", he muttered sleepy. It made a smile creep up on my lips and I just nodded. "Okay."

I reached for his hand, tangling my fingers in his and closed my eyes again. My smile grew wider as I felt him squeezing my hand slightly. With his other hand he played with my hair and as he pressed his lips against my forhead, I could feel his smile. I felt like a teenager again, remembering all the crap Oli and I have been through. He was there from the start and I was sure of it: he would be there until the very end.

He was the air I needed in order to breathe.

- NEXT DAY -

"Hey, love. Wake up", a small whisper startled me. I let out a groan, squeezing my eyes before opening them slowly. "Good morning", Oli smirked, obviously trying hard not to laugh. "Feeling tired?", he asked and a heavy sigh escaped my lips. "More like a zombie!", I replied. "You don't look like one though, you more remind me of Sleeping Beauty", he muttered, getting rid of a strand of hair by tugging it behind my ear. "Oh really, Prince Phillip?", I giggled sleepy.

"God you have no idea how I missed your silly movie references", Oliver laughed softly.

"Silly?! That's Disney, boy. You simply have to know, it's general knowledge!", I retorted, furrowing my eyebrows. "Well at least I know that Sleeping Beauty wakes up as soon as she gets kissed", Oli trailed off. "But seeing as you're already awake enough to debate about education, there's no need for-", he tried to say but I cut him off by pressing my lips against his.

"Now, who's the weak, helpless princess?", I grinned jokingly. The only reply I got was a cute, dreamy smile from him as he stared into my eyes. "I love you so much, Cassandra", he murmured making me blush slightly. "I love you too, Oliver", I snickered, pecking his lips again. "I really can't wait to make you my Mrs Sykes", he grinned causing me to laugh. "Although I was your's from begin with, let's face it", I smirked this time making him laugh as he nodded. "Obviously", he said.

We heard some voices from the lounge when suddenly Jordan's familiar voice appeared rather close. "Hey, Oli. You up yet, the show's starting in-", he said and carefully tugged at the curtain. When he saw us though, he stopped in the middle of his sentence. We used the opportunity to just get up from Oliver's bunk, still having Fish's confused eyes on us. "Did I miss something?", he asked surprised.

"A lot actually", Oli replied in an instand and gently grabbed my wrist, holding it up. Jordan gave my fingers a clueless look when his jaw suddenly dropped. "Is that what I think it is?", he demanded, a huge grin widening on his face. Oliver and I looked at each other smiling and nodded. "Yup, it is", I said not being able to hold back a grin.

"Oh my gosh! Congratulations! It was about time, bloody hell", Jordan almost shouted in excitement and pulled the both of us in a hug. "Guys! Get your butts over here in an instant!", he called out to the lads. Thinking of telling them about the great news kinda made me anxious though. I did have my little fights with them, who could blame them? My sass-drama-queen behaivour almost led to a band breakup and Oli destroying himself. "Geez, what now, Jordan?", Nicholls groaned. Soon they all got to the bunk room and stared at me in confusion.

"No way. Is that a ring?!", Vegan demanded shocked, pointing at the object on my finger that was perfectly seenable as Oli was still holding my hand up. For a few seconds the room was filled with silence. That was until more likely crooked smileys came up to their lips and they congratulated us and hugged us. They didn't actually seem that disapproving of it. At least no one but Matt. "Do you guys really think that's a good idea? What about the band then", he spoke clenching his jaw.

"Dude, what's your problem? This is great, they're finally happy!", Lee shrugged but Nicholls still seemed to have his doubts.

"Oh yeah? That is until she's going to leave him again", he hissed.

"I won't!", I snapped instantly, louder than I wanted to. All heads turned to me and I bit my tongue. "I know I messed up a lot of things and I wish I could make up for them but i can't and I can't turn time back! I regret causing Oli and you guys so much pain, I regret it a lot. But we decided on leaving the past behind, start over. I just want  to make him happy and to be happy for myself. I love Oliver, I always have and I have never stopped and I never will, so-", I explained myself when Oli interrupted me.

"She's right. We both made mistakes in the past. But it's the past. Cassandra is the woman I want to spend the rest of my days with and just because I'm marrying her doesn't mean it would change anything about Bring Me The Horizon, alright? But if any of you'd turn against our engagement, that probably would because if you can't accept that she's the one who makes me happy, I can't work with you any longer", he said.

It even made my jaw drop. "Oli, you don't need-", I muttered but Nichols cut me off this time. "Fine", he said. My eyes widened in shock as I slowly turned my head to him.

His stern look caused me to wince slightly. Were they out of their fucking minds?! They wouldn't just break up the band, would they?

cliffhangeeeeeer, ily guys :*