Help me find a way to breathe [Oli Sykes FF]

Chapter 17

Alright guys, another chapter. Don't forget to vote/comment. I love reading your feedback, it means so much to me. Thank you for all your support, you are so sweet <3

Gif for this chapter is again Oli. But seriously, look at it. He seems so broken but kind of.. like he's used to it. I don't know that gif just makes me feel heartbroken. You can literally see that he's been through a lot, you can see the pain in his eyes while his expression tells you he's used to it ._.

Song for this chapter is Bring Me The Horizon - Can You Feel My Heart (Jakwob Remix) because that remix is just sick in my opinion, I really like it! Also it's kind of sad, which fits the atmosphere pretty well. Speaking of sad - the next two or three chapters might me triggering. They deal with basically everything. From selfharm to anorexia, drinking and drug abuse. Which is why I want you to know, I'm always there for you okay?

So if anything's wrong or you need someone to talk to, please message me. On my profile you can also find my twitter and I believe my facebook too, use it. I want you to be safe and happy, because you don't deserve anything else. I know you're strong enough to go through whatever you're going through, please stay strong, I know you can do it. I love you and I care about you. All of you xoxo

Also, please don't hate me for this chapter *hides* /. \ I'M SORRAY I REALLY AM *SOBS* ;w; By the way, I'm ill at the moment, I'm having the worst cold ever. So if there's any mistakes, it could be possible I wasn't concentrating enough, sorry for that. Now have fun reading!

Oliver's POV:

Everyone's eyes followed Cassie as she ran off before they all were on me. But to be honest, I couldn't care less about everyone else right now. I was paralyzed myself, not even being able to move for a few seconds. But after recovering from the first shock, I got up from my knees. I heard the guy's attempts to get me to listen to them but their voices just went through one ear and out the other.

I didn't care about anything else than what just happened now.

Lee's hand reached out to grab my shoulder but I just gently shook it off before leaving the stage as well. I had to follow her, I couldn't just let her leave like nothing. My legs just carried me towards our tour bus while my mind still tried to let everything sink in. After a few minutes I arrived and I opened the door to the bus.

I walked to the back lounge to find Cassandra sitting at the table, resting her elbows on it while burrying her face in her hands. I quietly closed the door behind me but it was enough to make her flinch slightly as she looked up at me.

She didn't say a word though nor could I tell whether she was sad or mad or anything. She just seemed to be confused, just as me. To avoid my eyes she turned her head to the side and looked out of the window. I let out a small sigh and sat down on the other side of the table. "What's the matter, Cass?", I asked concerned.

Should I be mad at her? Well, probably I should be. She left me behind without a word after I proposed to her, bloody hell! But I wasn't mad at her at all. Not even hurt or sad. I was just concerned, worried. Maybe it was just me but there was something strange going on, that I could tell. I had a fucking terrible feeling about all of this.

After a few more minutes of silence and Cassie still not looking at me, I grabbed her hands and gently squeezed them. "Please, love. Look at me", I sighed. She again turned her head but only to stare at our entwined fingers. Then I heard her voice, almost inaudible and like a shaky breath. As if she were about to burst out in tears:

"I'm sorry, Oliver", she whispered.

I shook my head and held up her chin, forcing her to look at me. The tears in her eyes were heartbreaking. "Why are you crying? It's fine, I'm not mad at you, you know?", I murmured and wiped a tear from her cheek. "I didn't mean to catch you off-guard or anything, let's just forget about it", I added with a soothing voice. But she just gently slapped my hand from her face and stood up, walking towards the other side of the bus, looking out of the window again.