Help me find a way to breathe [Oli Sykes FF]

Chapter 22

Song for this chapter is James Dean & Audrey Hepburn - Sleeping With Sirens just because I love this song so freaking much and it's perf and hnngh <3

I also will dedicate my chapters to people who actually read my story and leave comments or votes behind. Those things are really rare, I guess. I appreciate your support so much and I love seeing some of you comment or vote, even if it's jsut a few. Thank you guys.

Cassandra's POV:

Since neither Ben nor I were tired we decided to stay up a bit longer. We were watching TV but not paying any attention to the screen. Instead we were just chatting, obviously having much to tell each other. I just laughed because he told me about a party they once had. "That wasn't funny", Ben said though he was laughing as well. "Danny literally was acting like Thor and threw the glass to the ground and then he lost balance on his chair. But when he fell to the ground he passed out. We fucking had to drag him to the car and upstairs", he snickered, shaking his head with a sigh.

"Sounds like you had a great time", I grinned, taking another swig from the beer bottle. Ben simply shrugged, letting out a small sigh. "Well, I already told you, but we were seriously missing you. Last tour wasn't half the fun without you", he explained. I pouted, giving him a puppy look. "I already apolozied, Ben! What do you want me to do?", I rolled my eyes.

His lips curled up to a smirk. "As I said, we'll soon have a new album. So that means we'll be on tour again", he trailed off. I raised an eyebrow. "You don't want me to join you on tour, do you?", I sighed but he nodded. "That's exactly what I want, love", he chuckled. I bit my lower lip. "I don't know, Ben. I can't just ditch work and all", I sighed. "Oh come on, you can also work on your art while you're with us on tour, right?", he groaned. he had a point there, that wasn't the problem actually.

I feared something else. "Who else will be there?", I murmured, almost inaudible not even daring to ask. "A Day To Remember and Pierce The Veil", Ben replied. Could've been worse, it could've been BMTH straight but still, I shouldn't get in contact with everyone again. Sometime it would only lead to me seeing Oli again and that I had to avoid, that's for sure.

"Come on, Cass. You owe me and the guys", Ben chuckled, slightly pushing me. "Alright, alright. Let me think about it, okay?", I laughed back at him and he nodded. "Not like you've got an option anyways, but whatever you like, darling", he grinned.

We ended up watching Frankenweenie (A/N: I FUCKING LOVE THAT MOVIE OHMYGOD) by Tim Burton, him knowing exactly I loved Tim Burton's animation movies. As soon as we were at the scene where his dog was caught by the fire in the house, I heard Ben laugh. "What's so funny?! Sparky just got killed! Again..", I asked, clearly a whining mess. "I'm not even paying attention to the movie, hun. I just missed your reactions to those stupid movies", he shook his head, smiling.

"Stupid movies?", I asked, narrowing my eyes. Ben chuckled again, leaning over to me a bit. "That's not my point. Here", he sighed, wiping away a tear from my face with his thumb. I slightly winced at his touch. How embarrassing. "Oh.. sorry", I muttered a bit flustered, wiping away the tears quickly. "Don't judge me! The movie is bloody sad, alright?", I added in defense causing Ben to laugh softly once more.

"I really missed you, Cassie", he breathed, suddenly wrapping an arm around me as he pulled me close and placed a kiss to my forehead.

"Pay attention to the movie, knobhead", I chuckled without pulling away. "I don't want to. You are way more interessting", he shrugged. I turned my attention from the television screen to Ben, giving him a reproachful look. "Why would you watch a movie with me in the first place then?", I asked raising an eyebrow.

"I already told you. I missed sitting on the couch with a girl who cries about the most silly movies or laughs at scenes that aren't even funny. I missed your laugh in general. I missed how you always play around with your fringe, I missed your voice. I missed you, Cassie", he whispered as he looked straight into my eyes.

I looked back at him not knowing what to say though. I was speechless. "Ben, I", I wanted to say but he cut me off. "Shh", he said, placing his finger on my lips to keep me from talking. "Pay attention to the movie", he joked smirking. "The credit titles are on, Ben", I chuckled softly. "Oh, so I am more interessting than the credit titles?", he grinned, making me laugh again.

"And I missed this. Seeing you happy, even the last time I saw you you haven't had on this laugh for what seemed like an eternity", Ben suddenly said. And as this words came out of his lips, he approached my face slowly until our lips were just inches apart from each other. I could feel his warm breath and his is familiar scent of cigaretts and alcohol lingered in my nostrills. Which didn't bother me though, it was kind of sexy, I had to admit. But anyways

"No, Ben. I can't do this", I muttered, backing away. "I'm sorry", I added, giving him a sad look. He nodded in understandment, his eyes filled with sadness. "It's fine, I'm sorry", he said, scratching the back of his neck. At this moment I just felt bad, so I said something I knew I would regret later.

"About the tour... I think I'll join you", I smiled at him. He gave me a surprised look but his eyes soon lit up in excitement. "For real?", he asked, a genuine smile on his face which made me snicker. "Yes, for real", I nodded and he pulled me into a quick hug.

"Well it's late anyways. We should get to sleep", he added and I nodded. I was the first to go to the bathroom and after Ben was finished too, he gave me an oversized shirt of his to sleep in and lead me to the guestroom. "You can stay here, if that's fine? Sorry, it's a bit messy", he chuckled but I shook my head.

"It's perfect, thank you", I smiled at him and he nodded. I turned around to him and stood on my tip toes, to reach him better. I placed a soft kiss on his cheek, smiling at him again. "Good night, Ben", I muttered and he left the room. "Good night", he grinned back, closing the door behind him.

I closed the window's curtains before getting rid of my clothes and changing into Ben's plain shirt. With a small sigh I allowed my body to fall down on the bed and pulled the blankets over my head. What a day.

I had no idea what to think about this whole thing and I was scared of this tour. Something about it bothered me, I knew something would be happening. And I knew it was something that couldn't be good.