Falling for my idol (A Chris 'Motionless' Cerulli love story)

Chapter 5

{Esmeralda's POV} 

When I woke up, I was all alone in bed I got up out of bed and got dressed I brushed my long jet-black hair and pulled it up into a pony tail I made the bed and walked into the bathroom. When I was finished in the bathroom, I walked downstairs I walked into the living room Chris wasn't there I walked into the kitchen he wasn't there either. 

"Chris where are you." I called. 

"I'm in my office." He said. 

I left the kitchen and walked down the hall and walked into Chris's office he looked at me and smiled I sat down on the couch he was talking to someone on the phone I was looking at the different things that Chris has in his office I noticed he had a few Skelanimals sitting on a shelf. When Chris got off the phone, he sat beside me on the couch and held my hand I felt myself blush he kissed the back of my hand. 

"Stop your making me blush." 

"I still can't believe someone as beautiful as you have never had a boyfriend." 

"My parent's scared them off and most guy's that did ask me out could never get over my scars." I said somberly. 

"What scars?" Chris asked. 

I took a deep breath and slowly slide the sleeves of my Slipknot shirt up to reveal the scars on my arms I suddenly felt ashamed for what I did to myself in the past when I felt like the reason no guy wanted me was because I wasn't good enough for them, I felt tears starting to well up. 

"Please don't be angry or hate me for what I did to myself in the past you are the first person that I have ever showed them too." I explained chocking back a sob.

"Esmeralda, I am not angry and I don't hate you just please promise me that you won't do that ever again because I don't like it when my fans do this to their selves it makes me and the guys sad." Chris said. 

"I promise I won't do this ever again but I haven't done that since the first time I did it." I sobbed. 

Chris gently pulled me towards him I buried my face in his chest and sobbed uncontrollably he held me close and comforted me I felt like I let Chris and the guys down for what I did in the past. 

"Look at me for a minute." 

I pulled back and looked into Chris's beautiful brown eyes he placed his hands on both sides of my face and gently wiped away the tears with his thumbs he looked into my dark brown eyes. 

"I am not going to judge you for what you did in the past. But are you still doing this to yourself when you feel like you're not good enough?" Chris asked. 

"No, I stopped when I realized that I was letting you and the guys down by doing that to myself but I did seek help though I went and talked to a school Psychologist and the more I talked with the Psychologist the more I started feeling better I used to have to write in a diary and take it with me to the Psychologist every day when I went to see her." I explained. 

"I am glad you stopped and I am also glad that you got help." 

Chris looked like he was going to kiss me but thought better of it he wrapped his arm around me I laid my head on his chest he kissed the top of my head I felt my cheeks get warm.

"I love you." I whispered. 

"I love you, too." Chris whispered back. 

Chris took me by the hand and led me into the kitchen I made us a cup of coffee while Chris made waffles, I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. Chris looked at me and smiled I grabbed his coffee mug and handed it to him he leaned down and kissed my cheek I grabbed my coffee mug. 

"Babe what is on the agenda for today?" 

"I was going to spend the day playing video games but I'd rather spend the day with you because if I play video games all day that won't be fair to you." 

"I wouldn't mind playing video games with you I play some video games like Mario, Batman, and NHL but nothing else." I said. 

"I have a few Mario games that we can play just don't play with Ricky he hates to lose." Chris said with a chuckle. 

After breakfast Chris and I were sitting on the couch playing Mario Kart we were racing against each other I won the first round and Chris won the second we spent a good bit of the day playing video games. 

Later on, that day Chris and I were snuggling on the couch trying to find something to watch on TV when someone knocked on the door, I got up to answer the door Chris followed me to the door I opened the door Ricky, Ghost, Ryan, Balz, and Vinny were standing on the door step. 

"Hey guys we thought we would bring you guys some dinner." 

"Aww thank you guys that is so sweet." 

"Why don't you guys come in and join us for dinner." Chris said. 

"We would like to but shouldn't you ask Esmeralda if we can stay as well." Ghost said. 

"Baby is it okay if the guys join us for dinner?" 

"I don't mind if the guys stay for dinner." 

Ricky, Ghost, Ryan, Balz, and Vinny came into the house we all walked into the living room I was sitting on the floor beside Chris. We ate pizza and chicken wings I climbed to my feet and left the living room I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a can of Coke out of the fridge Chris came into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge we walked back into the living room and hung out with the guys. After we were all done eating, we were all sitting around the living room joking around Chris and I would gaze into each other's eyes when we thought the guys weren't looking. 

"C remember when we did a spoof of COPS." Balz said. 

"I remember that really well because we were outside trying to arrest Ricky and he kept resisting." Chris said laughing. 

"You or Balz asked me if I tongued butt holes."  

"I remember seeing that video on YouTube once I couldn't stop laughing while I was watching it and I kept thinking to myself it's probably a good thing that you guys weren't real cops." I giggled. 

"Balz remember when we did the video for Bamboozled." Chris replied. 

"That was fun as hell." Balz said laughing. 

After a while Ricky, Ghost, Ryan, Balz, and Vinny left the house Chris helped me to my feet I left the living room and walked upstairs to mine and Chris's room I walked into the bathroom when I was finished in the bathroom I walked downstairs and sat down on the couch. Chris came into the living room and sat beside me on the couch he leaned over and kissed my cheek I was watching him play HALO, I was starting to nod off Chris paused the game. 

"Baby would you like me to carry you upstairs to bed?" 

"No, I'm comfortable right where I am." 

Chris grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and covered me up he kissed my forehead and turned off the lamp he wrapped his arm around me I laid my head on his chest and drifted off to sleep. 

A/N: I wrote about self-harming from a personal experience someone that I know used to self-harm I helped my friend get help and she is great full that I got her help.