Bad Desire: New Beginnings - Fast Forward

Chapter 52

Walking into the hospital room Jack and Jess were taken back to see Louise laid out in the bed looking weak and vulnerable. She didn't look the same. She didn't look like the bubbly, full of life woman who was always prancing around with a smile on her face. She instead looked pale and hopeless.

Regardless of this though she managed to shine that famous Louise smile their way as they walked in and even when she was looking as ill as she did, it was still infectious.

"Hey, you two." She grinned as she tried to lift her arm to welcome them in.

It was a gesture she would carry out whenever anyone arrived at her home; wanting to pull them into the most loving hug and make them feel welcome.

When Jack seemed glued to his position at the door, not sure what to do or what to say say, Jess quickly made her way over and took Louise's hand.

She was urged into a hug, which gave off that same vibe and warmth however, Jess couldn't help but feel the delicacy of Louise's state.

Once the two had pulled a part, Louise's eyes caught sight of Jack who was still hovering by the door. You could see the pure fear and heartbreak on his face as he watched his mum in such an awful position. He didn't know how to cope with it, he didn't know how to process the fact that she was ill. This was his mum; the woman who even to this day liked to make sure her son's were well looked after. Yet here she was now, lying in this hospital bed looking sick and unable to carry out her usual mothering duties.

"Jack." Louise whispered after a few minutes, trying to force out her most soothing voice.

She could see he was hurting and it broke her heart.

Once Louise had managed to catch his eye, she gave him her most reassuring smile yet he was unable to do the same.

All that was running through his head was this illness and what could come of it. He couldn't stop thinking about how he hadn't managed to pick up on it for the many weeks she had kept it to herself.

"How did it go?" Louise then asked, still trying to get something from him. "Did you get the garage in Cambridge?"

She was trying her hardest to act as if nothing was wrong and trying to get conversation out of him over something she was still beyond proud of. Through all of her struggles since finding out she was ill, the few things that had kept her spirits high were the incredible things her son's were achieving alongside the grandchildren that had been given to her out of pure love.

She thrived off caring and looking after people and that was exactly what she got to do with those children. When Jack had been away, Louise had been arriving at the door each day at 9am, ready to help Jess with the kids. She had only been able to do it for a few days before things went downhill but she enjoyed every single second of it because she was fulfilling her role as a mother but as a grandmother to the children she loved so dearly.

"We got the garage." Jack finally spoke up with a smile, mirroring the expression he was getting from his mum.

"I'm so proud of you." She wiped a tear away that had fallen down her cheek and by this point Jack headed straight for her bedside.

Feeling as though he had to be as careful as he possibly could, he gently wrapped his arms around her and placed a kiss to her cheek. However, Louise clearly did not want to be treated delicately and instead wrapped her arms tightly around her son and pulled him into a hug.

"I knew you would do it. You have made every Lawrence proud."

Placing a kiss to Jack's cheek, the pair then pulled away as Jack immediately reached for Jess' hand, urging her towards him. He couldn't help but feel the need to have her close at every moment; feeling completely lost if she wasn't within touching reach.

"How are you feeling?" Jack went onto cautiously ask a question he wasn't sure was the right one.

"A little tired." Louise chuckled but having to stop herself when she felt obvious pain. "I'm really sorry I never said anything to you... I just didn't want to cause anyone worry."

Although Jack would have rather known, he understood his mum's reasons for keeping it secret. She had a need to constantly want to protect those she cared about and this was her way of going about that. She knew if she would have said anything, it would have sent a wave of worry and sadness throughout the whole family and she didn't want that atmosphere.

"It's okay." Jack replied, his voice basically a whisper. He didn't know why but standing here right now, he felt nervous; a feeling he rarely experienced.

"This isn't a big deal though, I know it might seem it but it's not." Louise then went onto say as she tried her hardest to cover up any fear that could be building over her state. "I start the first stage of treatment tomorrow and I'll be in here for about a month but it'll be home after that."

Jack and Jess weren't sure if her words were to reassure herself of them but either way she spoke them with such confidence.

She had already had more time to deal with what she was going through. She had the time to process the illness and understand her condition but this was still fresh to them. Although she made it seem as though it was no big deal and that she was going to be made better, there was still so much fear and uncertainty around it all.

"You'll be alright." Jack nodded his head as he tried to fight back the tears and Jess knew the moment he turned his back that they were winning.

He began pacing up and down beside the few paintings on the wall, taking a sudden interest to the pieces of art that he had previously ignored.

Louise went from watching Jack to looking to Jess with a pained expression, knowing as well as Jess how much her son was hurting.

"Hopefully the next time we'll be in this hospital is to meet that little angel growing in there." Louise then grinned as she reached out to touch Jess' stomach.

Her words sent a whole new sickening feeling through both Jess and Jack as the urge to cry erupted in Jess too.

Louise's love for her grandchildren was something that could not be described and her excitement the moment she found out Jess was once again pregnant was an irreplaceable moment.

She was counting down the days on her calendar until the due date. Having a huge circle around the 24th of December when this new addition was meant to be joining the family.

She couldn't wait to meet him or her and hold them for the first time. To welcome them into the family in the most loving and gracious way she always did.

Placing her hand over the top of Louise's, Jess looked at her with a smile as a tear rolled down the side of her cheek, causing a mirroring effect to happen to Louise.

"I can't wait." Jess whispered as she squeezed her hand. She held onto it that little bit tighter, as if holding onto the woman who had made such an impact in her life and not wanting to let go.

Louise had welcomed Jess into the family with open arms and taken on the role as a mother she never had. She had held no judgement and no reserves of her life back then in the gang and instead wanted to do everything to make her feel loved.

This woman had been there through every life changing moment Jess had experienced, from her first pregnancy to leaving the gang. She had soothed her and cared for her through the whole journey and the thought of losing someone that important, was heart wrenching.

"Hopefully that little bundle of joy will be here in time to join us for Christmas." Were the last few words Louise spoke before her hand dropped from Jess' and her exhausted body fell into a deserving sleep.

💜

Make sure you follow Emma aka BadNewsFanfic on Twitter!