Bad Desire: New Beginnings - Fast Forward

Part 20 - 3 days before Christmas.

(I was listening to Emma's playlist and I found songs that fit these parts quite well sooo for this first one Taylor Swift, Delicate)

Jess & Jack - 3 days before Christmas.

"I have something I really need to talk to you about and this can't wait." Jess insisted as she took hold of Jack's hand, just as he was about to leave the room.

They were getting ready to head over to his parent's for dinner yet Jess was unable to escape the thoughts that had been swirling in her head over the past couple of weeks.

She was consumed with guilt for not telling Jack about the gang or the few times she had done business and it had been eating at her since.

She knew she couldn't hold it in for much longer, he deserved to know. Their marriage had never been built on lies and she wasn't about to be the one to make that part of it.

"I know what you're going to say." Jack replied simply, only causing Jess to frown at him.

"What?"

"I know what you are going to tell me."

"Do you?"

Taking Jess' hand, Jack guided her over to their bed before taking a seat and urging her to take one beside him. This whole time she was watching him in utmost confusion as she hadn't expected any of this.

She was almost certain he had got this all wrong and was expecting him to say something else however, she was slightly intrigued to what he assumed it was.

"The gang." Jack replied and it immediately caused Jess' whole body to freeze.

"W-what?"

"I know about everything. I know you've been speaking with them, I know you've been on business with them... come on Jess, I'm not stupid."

Jess couldn't quite believe what she was hearing right now. She didn't understand how any of this was happening and she couldn't judge Jack's reaction to it either.

"I'm... shit, Jack. I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you, I was going to tell you... I was just scared and..." Jess began rambling off a speech that she was hoping would save her so much trouble however, Jack did the unexpected.

Squeezing her hand, he then pulled her into his arms where he held her so tightly. They both remained in that position for what felt like minutes when in actual fact it had probably just been seconds.

"Don't. Don't apologise."

"But..." Jess began before Jack cut her off.

"You don't need to say sorry because I'm actually glad you did it."

"What?"

"I know you've been missing it. I know it's been killing you watching them all get back into that lifestyle while you've been stuck living a normal life. I know you too well."

Jack knew Jess better than anyone and he had picked up on it from the get go. When she was lying and trying to sneak out and get back home without Jack figuring out where she had been, he had already been fully aware.

He could have brought it up sooner and caught her out on the incident but he knew that wouldn't have been the right way to handle it. He had been angry at first but he had wanted time to process it.

Deep down he knew her intentions and he knew they definitely were not to hurt him. Therefore, he had taken this time to allow himself to understand it before facing her with the truth.

"I want you to be happy Jess. Whatever gives you that, I want you to take it without guilt." Jack insisted, ready to give this to her straight. "I know you love your job but I know you love the gang more and I don't ever want you to feel as though you can't live through that again because of me."