Bad Desire: New Beginnings - Fast Forward

Chapter 61

Once Sophie had arrived home, she was preparing herself with the atmosphere she was going to be faced with.

She knew the news would have got back to Aaron over what had happened; this was Brighton and among their circle of friends and acquaintances, nothing was secret. Gossip travelled fast and that was exactly what had happened.

Phoebe was sound asleep due to it being stupidly early hours of the morning and as Sophie stood opposite Aaron, he sat on the bed with a great sense of the unknown flowing between them.

"I'm so so sorry Aaron." Sophie tried to stress, not knowing what else to say.

She knew sorry wasn't going to cut it, it wasn't going to prevent him from feeling hurt or confused.

"You just need to hear me out."

She knew without Aaron even saying a word what he would be thinking. Elliot was her ex and they had dated for so many years that his instant thought would be that she still wanted to be with him.

Hearing that Sophie had kissed him was like a punch to the chest and it had completely shattered his heart.

He loved her, so much and after bucking up the courage even though he feared the concept of marriage so much, he had proposed because he trusted her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

However, now he was filled with fear and uncertainty over how Sophie truly felt. He didn't know if what she had written in that letter, along with what she told him, was true. For all he knew, they could be lies she was just saying to hide the truth and that she could still be completely in love with Elliot.

They ended so quickly after she and Aaron had been messing around. How did he know that she wasn't now filled with regrets and even more so now she saw Elliot moving on with Erika?

"You kissed him? You fucking kissed him?" Aaron spat, the thought of it making him feel physically sick.

"No, it wasn't like that. He kissed me!" Sophie stressed, throwing her arms out through aggravation as she did so. "He was talking about old times, saying he missed me and then it happened. I pulled away; I didn't want any of that to happen. It's so fucked up!"

As Aaron just looked back at her showing very little emotion, Sophie felt a sense of loss just watching him. She felt like he was shutting out her every word and had already made up his mind.

Could she blame him? He had been through so much in the relationship with her that it felt like only a matter of time before he walked away anyway.

They had been tested so much as a couple with Aaron taking the short straw and having to go through so much yet still powering on.

"Please, Aaron." Sophie literally begged at this point, as she got no words in response from him.

Making her way over to the end of the bed, she stood in front of him. He was still facing forward, refusing to give her any kind of eye contact and it made her feel completely helpless.

"I love you, so so so much." Sophie cupped his face and tried to urge him to look up at her.

He complied and she regretted it the moment it happened because she could see the genuine hurt and heartbreak in his eyes.

Urging his face towards her, she wrapped her arms around him so his head rested against her stomach. While she was in a standing position and he was sat down, she tried give all the reassurance she could through the comfort of a hug yet while also in a desperate attempt of not losing him.

"Please, just trust me on this. I didn't want it to happen. I wish I had never have gone and stayed home with you instead."

As her chin rested on his head while she tried to hold back the tears, his arms finally found their way around her body. Wrapping them around her waist, Aaron finally pulled Sophie into him and down onto his lap.

There was a sense of relief yet still uncertainty rushing over Sophie while she was unsure of what to make of it. Yet when they came face to face again, his facial expression had softened slightly.

"I love you, Aaron... not him. I love you." She spoke while looking directly into his eyes, trying to make him realise and believe it.

Running her hand down the side of his face, her thumb ran over his bottom lip while he just looked back at her.

She knew he was trying to keep himself composed. He could have very easily raised his voice and let the anger get the better of him but he hadn't and instead had just managed to calm himself down.

When Sophie realised he wasn't going to pull away, she exchanged her thumb and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, testing to see his reaction. When he began to kiss her back, running his hand around the back of her neck and urging her close, Sophie didn't hold back.

They both got completely lost in the moment, neither one of them pulling away. As the kiss got more desperate and a huge sense of need fulfilled through them, clothes were removed and things got more heated.

It was as though this reassurance was enough. As though the love they had for one another outweighed the previous concern and hurt.

They instead desperately got so lost within one another and took full advantage of the moment for what it was. Completely pushing the previous thoughts and imagery of what had happened at the club, go straight out of their heads and instead focusing on one another.

...

As they both lay in bed after, the silence fulfilling them and their eyes fixated on the ceiling. Aaron's arm removed from around Sophie's body and trailed down her arm until he took her hand in his.

Running his thumb across the ring on her finger, his relaxed body fell tense once again. Sophie let her eyes wander to his face, desperately trying to judge his react to see what was going through his mind.

He was looking at the engagement ring so intently that it sent a wash of nerves throughout her.

"Fuck." He muttered under his breath but Sophie heard it loud and clear. "Fuck." He repeated once again but this time he dropped her hand and began pulling away from her body.

Sophie didn't have chance to process what was happening because he had already stood to his feet and began picking up his clothes that had been thrown on the floor and shrugging them all back on.

"Aaron?" Sophie quickly sat up in bed, looking over at him confused and helpless, the guilt falling back over her. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" He snapped the moment he looked back at her. "What's wrong is I'm so fucking stupid! You made out with your ex while I wasn't there. You ex-husband who you 'used to' be in love with and now I'm sleeping with you like nothing fucking happened."

He was hurt; you could see it all over his face once again.

"Marriage is a huge fucking deal to me, yet you're already proving my previous fears right."

Once Aaron had pulled on all of his now creased clothes, he grabbed his phone and keys before making his way back over to Sophie.

"I can't do this, Soph. I can't fucking pretend nothing happened. He's your ex-husband." He repeated the phrase again with the uncertainty of how she felt about him now consuming his mind.

"This was a mistake. A huge fucking mistake." He said as he held his hand out towards her and in that moment, Sophie felt the urge to cry once again.

She knew what he wanted and she knew she had lost all hope of gaining his trust in her back. She knew why he hated the idea of marriage previously and knew that it had taken a lot of courage to get over his fear but now she had put him back into his previous state.

Knowing if she didn't comply, it would make matters worse in the long run; Sophie pulled the ring off her finger and handed it over to him.

Barely being able to look at her, as he knew he would just break down and give in to the woman he loved if he did, Aaron didn't give her eye contact and turned straight around making his way to the door.

"Aaron!" Sophie called out trying to hold back the tears. "Where are you going?"

Pausing, he briefly turned to look at her but didn't give her an answer.

*

:)))