Bad Desire: New Beginnings - Fast Forward

Chapter 92

"How are you feeling?" Jess asked Louise as she took a seat down beside her on the sofa.

It was strange watching Louise's previous active state, change so dramatically as she had to delicately lower herself down. She felt and looked much weaker now and although each day seemed to bring more hope, she had her down days too.

"I'm doing good now." She smiled with a reassuring tone to her voice. "Sometimes I want to do nothing but sleep but all in all I feel much better than before." She chuckled.

"That's good." Jess gave her hand a squeeze. She wanted nothing more than for Louise to recover this as did everyone else. She was many people's rock and the thought of being without her just didn't seem possible.

She was currently in the maintenance part of her treatment and it was planned to continue for roughly two years. She was on constant watch by her doctors but they were always reassuring her that it was just for her own benefit and out of caution.

Life at home for Louise and the Lawrence's in general had been different, which was expected. Louise could do a lot less and need much more rest than before. Therefore, her days helping Dan out with work had been reduced alongside her ability to help Jess and Jack with the kids.

It was one of the things that got her down the most and she would occasionally have to let them down last minute. Sometimes she could wake up feeling at her best and other days she would wake up needing to just remain in bed. Therefore, plans with the kids could never be promised until the day it was supposed to go ahead anymore.

"Now what about you... Jack told me about that little boy Kian." Louise spoke softly, clearly trying to approach the situation carefully.

"Oh..." Jess fell strangely shy as she hadn't realised Jack had said anything. "I'm okay... it's all just a bit strange at the moment."

Nodding her head, Louise took a sip of her water before turning back to Jess.

"I'm sure strange is an understatement. You need to remember that it's okay to feel whatever you're feeling, this is a huge thing. But you and Jack also need to trust each other, don't let this tear you apart."

It was clear that Louise had picked up on the unease running between them; she wasn't stupid. It wasn't that they were still arguing, they just avoided the topic that was obviously looming between them and it definitely wasn't helping anything.

"I know, you're right." Jess agreed, hearing Louise say it out loud made her realise how stupid they were being.

They needed to support one another, no matter how difficult it all was and they couldn't do that if they avoided talking about it. No matter how messed up it all was, they were in this together, they were still a team.

"I heard Jack is going to see him tomorrow morning. How do you feel about that?"

Jess didn't say anything for a moment as she didn't know how she felt. It was all still a bubble of confusion in her head and she wasn't sure when things would begin to become clear.

"I want him to go, it's just weird and I'm nervous for him. I know he's worried and I can't be there to help."

"Do you want to be there?"

Louise's question held Jess silent for a moment as she was unsure how to answer that question. Did she want to be there? She didn't know. Part of her would say yes, for Jack's sake but at the same time, she didn't want to. It would not only be too much for Kian to handle, she didn't know how she would handle it either.

"I don't really know." She answered honestly and it looked like it was the answer Louise had been expecting.

"Just remember that he won't be judging you." Louise began in regards to Kian. "If he knows, he won't care that you're his mum's sister and his dad is your husband. Those things are only difficulties that you and Jack have to face. That little boy will just be grateful to be given a family and more people to love him."