Bad Desire: New Beginnings - Fast Forward

Part 23 - you were very lucky

"You were very lucky." Were the words echoing through Jace's head over and over again, making him want to rip the hair from his head and scream at them to stop.

How could they say that?

How could they stand there and say that to him? How could they be so insensitive?

It had been an hour. A whole hour had passed since Jace had awoken, feeling disorientated and confused; lost and in pain.

It hadn't taken long for those memories to come flooding back though. He didn't know how they were engraved so vividly in his mind but they were and it hurt.

Sophie's screams were all he could hear, over and over again.

She had screamed out his name in so much panic, with such desperation yet he hadn't been able to help her.

She had called for him. She had cried for his help but he hadn't been able to give that to her. He had failed his wife in providing her with the protection he had always promised. He had told her he would be there for her through everything, to keep her out of harms way and not let anything hurt her.

He hadn't succeeded in that and now all he could hear were those screams in his head, over and over again.

"You need to have a drink, Jace. Take this." Luke, his brother held out a cup of water the nurse had provided but he just shrugged it off.

He didn't want it. He had told him that countless of times yet he was persistent.

"It was my fault." Jace mumbled to himself yet realising he had said it loud enough for his brother to hear. He was on such high alert that he wasn't going to miss a single thing falling from his lips.

"You can't blame yourself, bro. This isn't your fault." Luke tried to rationalise with him, trying to make him gain some insight yet it wasn't going to work. He hadn't been in that car. Jace knew what had happened.

"It is my fault!"

As Jace screamed those words, tears finally started falling from his eyes. This was the first time Luke had seen his brother cry since they were little and it was heart breaking to watch.

His mind was all over the place, he still wasn't stable from what had happened. It had been a week since the crash, a week that he had spent in a coma, so now waking up and being faced with the reality of what had happened had torn him apart.

"Please just calm down Jace, you're not helping yourself." Luke stressed as he pointed to the machine monitoring his heart rate. "Do you want me to get the kids? They are here with their dad and I know they will want to see you."

Looking up at Luke with saddened eyes, Jace wasn't sure that he wanted that. How could he face Sophie's kids after what had happened? Surely they would think he was a monster.

He remembered how sad they had been to say goodbye to her when they left for New York; Amiya had been in pieces. So how could face them now?

"No."

"No?" Luke looked back at his brother in confusion.

"I said no." Jace bit back, ending the conversation.

Flashback:

"We'll miss you mum." Kaden muttered as he was embraced in a warm hug by Sophie.

Hearing those words from her son's mouth caused Sophie's heart to swell with love. Kaden was very much like his dad and always liked to hold this very tough exterior. Although there was no doubting that he loved his mum a lot, it was also clear he had always been closer to his dad.