Bad Desire: New Beginnings - Fast Forward

Chapter 94

As promised, Jay had kept his words and agreed to meet up with Jess to finally sit down and talk. She wanted him to finally open up and explain why there had been such a distance created between their friendship over the past few years and to get everything out in the open.

Therefore, once Jack had left for Cambridge, Jess had invited Jay over knowing that it was safer to do it now. She knew if she met him with Jack around, arguments would just be caused between the two of them and that wouldn't be helping anything.

"I was just pissed off..." Jay began and the quiet tone in his voice was a clear indication that he was ready to open up. "When you and Jack broke up, I came to Brighton and was by your side through it all."

Jay had helped Jess out by giving her a place to live but also staying with her. They had become the closest they had been in so long and that for Jay had been the start of the issues.

"You can't deny that there was more going on there."

Although he wasn't coming right out and saying it, Jess knew exactly what he was talking about. The pair had gotten extremely close and it had even lead to a kiss that had been unspoken about since.

"And then as soon as Jack came back into your life, you walked straight out of mine as though none of it happened. Can you see how that fucked with my head?"

Jess was slightly taken back by what Jay was saying, not because she didn't believe it was true but because she realised he had a point. She hadn't realised how much it had bothered him but she also understood why it would.

"I never meant for it to seem like that." Jess began. "Honestly, I was so grateful for everything you did..."

"I know you were." Jay interrupted. "That wasn't the problem but none of it matters now."

"It does because we've barely spoken in years and if I'd have known it was because of this, things could have been different." Jess sighed, upset that the distance that had been created between them could have been solved much earlier. "I'm sorry for just walking away and acting like none of it happened. I was just so-"

"Consumed by Jack, I know."

Jay's comment stalled Jess for a moment while she thought about what he said and the words he had used. At the time, it didn't seem like that, she had just missed Jack so much that when things started to get better between them, of course she was going to cling onto it.

However, now she realised that maybe she had been completely consumed by it and forgotten about Jay. He always put on such a careless act that she had just assumed that he would be fine.

"It's so fucked up because I didn't think you'd give a shit." Jess nervously played with the ring on her finger.

"Really?" Jay looked back at her in shock.

"You're just so..."

"Heartless?" Jay finished her sentence once again.

"No, it's not that I just... I don't know. That kiss..." Jess finally gave in and brought up the one subject she knew they both had been avoiding. "I didn't think it would mean anything to you. I was so confused."

Nodding his head, Jay didn't say anything as he took a sip of his drink before looking off to the side.

Here he went again, shutting out from everything around him. Jess had caught his emotional side for a moment but it had been too good to be true to think he would keep it.

"Jay." She nudged his side causing him to look at her. "Did it mean something to you?"

There was silence again as all you could hear was the TV in the background.