Bad Desire: New Beginnings - Fast Forward

Part 8 - the gang

"I left early for this, so it better be worth it." Jess sighed as she sat across the table from Jay.

After exchanging a few back and forth texts with him this evening, she had finally given in to his wishes. She had made up an excuse and left Sophie's dad's house much earlier than anyone else.

Although she hadn't been able to act like she wasn't meeting Jay, she had over exaggerated and made it seem like an emergency. Therefore her friends, alongside Jack now thought Jay was in some desperate need for her help, even if that wasn't quite the truth.

"Its always worth it." Jay replied in that cool tone as his whole body remained just as poised.

This man was always incredibly frustrating to communicate with. He would constantly make remarks that could be taken in a particular way yet you'd feel stupid doing so due to the way he played it off.

"What is it?" Jess asked, trying to ignore what he could have been implying and remaining unfazed.

"First, let's get a drink."

As Jay signalled over the barman, Jess just rolled her eyes. She should have guessed he wouldn't have kept to his promise of keeping this meeting quick. He was about ready to make a whole night of it if he could.

"I don't have time for this. I really need to get back. You could have picked a better day."

"What do you want?" Jay then asked, completely ignoring what she was saying.

"What?" Jess glared back at him, realising he had a shield over every word leaving her lips that implied something he didn't want to hear.

"What do you want to drink?" He repeated himself and it was then Jess glanced over at the awaiting barman.

"Nothing. We don't want anything, thank you."

Before Jay got chance to stop him, the barman had already headed off to his awaiting customers leaving Jay with an expectant looking Jess wanting an explanation.

He desperately wanted to laugh at the stern and frustrated look across her face but he knew better than to push her buttons. Therefore, he decided to get straight to the point in hope of winning her over with this proposition.

"How do you feel about doing another job with the gang?" Jay asked the question that suddenly sent an array of emotions through Jess' body.

"What?"

"We could do with your help and after last time, I'd be stupid not to ask again."

Jess remained silent for a moment while she processed what Jay was saying. His words consumed her with so much guilt and confusion yet at the same time so much temptation.

A few weeks ago Jay had come to Jess with something she had struggled to turn down. In the past, she never would have dreamed of stepping foot in the gang again but for some reason the idea had filled her with so much excitement.

She couldn't even explain what the motivation was or where it was coming from but she had agreed and not regretted it as much as she expected.

She'd joined Jay and the rest of the gang just like old times and had a night she could never forget. For that evening, she had felt like her old self... like nothing had changed.

She had felt a sense of freedom, as though she didn't have a single care in the world. She felt like her 18 year old self with the world at her feet and the opportunity to do whatever the hell she wanted with it.

"They all want your help again. They all think you've still got it." Jay continued in reference to a few particular gang members who knew Jess incredibly well.

Joe and Brent had both rejoined the gang about a year ago and had been pleased to see Jess' face. It felt good to finally be reunited, doing what had once been their whole life. As much as Jess had loved every second, she had so much more to consider now and that was the reason so much guilt was looming within her.

"It's not that simple, Jay. I told you it was a one off." Jess stressed, feeling the need to make this clear to him.

She couldn't keep giving in to temptation. She was past this.

"Then this can be another one off. You had fun, you know it and even Matt's getting involved this time."

Tapping her nails against the table, Jess watched Jay intently for a moment. The look in his eyes was one she was so used to. He wasn't worried that she was going to turn him down, he was full of so much confidence.

However, at the same time, there was so much more to it. There was more to this whole situation and why he was eager for this to happen.

"Why do you want Matt and I back in the gang so badly? You're fully capable on your own so I know there's something more." Jess remarked while she watched Jay lean back into his chair.

"You need an explanation?" He asked, clearly stalling from going into this.

"Yeah."

Nodding his head, Jay sat himself forward again while leaning his arms across the table.

"Because we're all family." He began and Jess immediately felt that twinge in her stomach. "Joe and Brent are back. We've finally been given the chance to all do this together again, like we used to."

"But things have changed..." Jess tried to argue back yet didn't hold much fight in her voice.

"Yeah, we all blocked each other out of our lives. What kind of family does that?" Jay asked with a stern yet meaningful voice. "At one point we were all each other had. We had a shitty start in life but we made the best of it and I don't know about you but I had a fucking good time."

Biting down on her lip, Jess was trying to refrain from saying the words he wanted to hear. However, she couldn't not agree with everything Jay was saying.

Being in the gang had given her so much hell but it had also been some of the best years. It wasn't just the gang side of it, it was the fun they all had together. Even on a job they were able to make it a night well spent and it was that factor that was luring her in.

"Okay." Jess muttered and watched as Jay's face turned into a frown.

"What?"

"I said okay."

"Okay you'll do it?"

"Okay, I'll do it." Jess nodded and as a smile spread across Jay's face, her own mimicked it too. "But just once more!"

"Yeah, yeah. Just once more." Jay mocked, already planning on including her as much as he could.

Jess was shocked at herself for agreeing to this. She had promised the last time had been it. She didn't want to get caught up into this mess again and struggle to get out.

She had lied once to her family, not wanting Jack or anyone to know what she had got involved in. She couldn't continue to act like this.

However, the thought of spending another night with these guys, doing something they were still all amazing at was too tempting. She had to experience that thrill again and that was exactly what she was going to do.

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