How To Get A Cookie, By Cloudtail [Grandmas]

How To Destroy Your Enemies With Cookies

Cloudtail: Ever since our last episode, influenza has been running rampant throughout the Clans, as they have all become mildly addicted to wonderful, wonderful cookies.

Lionblaze: Curse my...*cough*...handsomeness! *shudders*

Cloudtail: I'm only slightly unnerved at what I have unleashed! Who knew so many cats were considered handsome? Anyways, back to the main point of our current episode. I'll be showing you how to destroy your enemies with cookies!

Lionblaze: Am I your enemy or something? *fever intensifies*

Cloudtail: Nope! My enemy is much worse, much more...brutal.

Lionblaze: Help...me...

Cloudtail: Nothing's wrong here! Brackenfur? Where are you? I thought we were conjoined!

Brackenfur: *Runs into the clearing with Cloudtail* I'm here!

Cloudtail: Great! Do you know who my enemy is?

Brackenfur: Was it that purple shirt you had a tussle with last week? I saw how hard it was for you to get it off...

Cloudtail: Stop telling the audience my weaknesses! And no, my enemy is... *stares dramatically into the distance*

Brackenfur: How long will he be epic-ly staring off this time?

Two days later

Cloudtail: Mousefur!

Brackenfur: *startles awake* Wha-what?

Cloudtail: My enemy is Mousefur!

Brackenfur: Why?

Cloudtail: She said she would make cookies but...*sniff* she never did...now I must avenge those cookies that never existed!

Brackenfur: StarClan help us all.

Cloudtail: Now, we just have to make Mousefur ~handsome~!

~~~At Mousefur's Den~~~

Mousefur: Kid, what are you doing?

Cloudtail: Giving you some hair!

Mousefur: *Pats ginormous pile of over styled hair on her head* I see...

Cloudtail: Now, a purple shirt...some mascara...contour...highlight...blend...ta-daa!

Brackenfur: *eyes get starry* She's...she's...

Cloudtail: *sheds a tear and pats Brackenfur's back* I know. I know. My masterpiece.

Brackenfur: I want to have her children.

Cloudtail: But you're a to-

Brackenfur: *puts a finger over Cloudtail's mouth* shhh...shhh. I want to have her children.

Mousefur: Why do I have all this dung on my face?

Cloudtail: *sweats nervously* no...no reason...just eat this cookie please ok thanks bye! *grabs Brackenfur and scrams*

Mousefur: Seems legitimate enough. *eats the weird, green, mushy cookie*

Two Weeks Later

Cloudtail: How is Mousefur still here? I...I infected her with the influenza...

Brackenfur: *eyes shining like moon beams* She was too handsome for it. Her handsomeness overpowered the illness and destroyed it. It was also powerful enough to eradicate the disease throughout the Clans.

Cloudtail: *bows to Mousefur and sheds a single, full tear* My queen.

Brackenfur: *bows* My...my queen.

Mousefur: Huh?

Crazystar: *bawling in the corner* I'm supposed to be the Queen! Stop! Stop it... *crying intensifies*

Cloudtail: I'd say we were successful enough this time, audience! *whispers to Brackenfur* What was our goal again?

Brackenfur: Beats me.

by firestar4ever :))