How To Get A Cookie, By Cloudtail [Grandmas]

How To Make Someone Love You Using Cookies

Cloudtail: Hiya! Today, in our continuing cookie guide book, I'll be showing you how to make someone love you through the power of cookies...since...well, see for yourself.

*camera zooms over to Brightheart, with a strange new...cat?*

Brightheart: Oh, Muffinheart! I love you so much, with your muffin-ness! So much better than that dimwitted cookie muncher, Cloudtail.

*camera back to Cloudtail*

Cloudtail: THE MUFFINS STOLE MY LOVE! Only the cookies can get her back...and Jayfeather. We'll need Jayfeather.

Jayfeather: What do you want now?

Cloudtail: A love potion.

Jayfeather: Those don't exist. Do you see anyone loving me? If only I had a love potion...

Cloudtail: Well, how'd you get that stick to love you?

Jayfeather: It's...a stick...

Cloudtail: And you're...repulsive...

Jayfeather: Ugh, fine. The love potion exists and I did use it on my stick. Happy?

Cloudtail: Very. I just got that confession on camera. *winks*

Jayfeather: *looks around warily* Okay, take this. *hands Cloudtail a heart-shaped bottle with ugly green sludge in it*

Cloudtail: Where'd you get this bottle?

Jayfeather: Twolegs are strange creatures. Where'd you learn that it's called a bottle?

Cloudtail: We broke the fourth wall long, long ago.

Jayfeather: Make sure the she-cat eats it in the next hour, or it'll spoil and make her love muffins.

Cloudtail: What? BRIGHTHEART!

Brightheart: *stops making out with the muffin cat* hmm?

Cloudtail: *crying* someone gave you a spoiled love potion! It was probably that scoundrel, Longtail...*camera zooms to Longtail's grave*

Brightheart: You aren't talking sense...only Muffinheart talks sense...cookies are liars.

Cloudtail: I must go against my base nature. *brandishes a muffin and pours the potion on it*

Brightheart: MUFFIN! *shoves it down her throat*

Cloudtail: B-Brightheart? 

Brightheart: How are you, sweetie? And what's with this cat sculpted out of muffins?

Cloudtail: The cookies actually worked for once! But who gave Brightheart the potion...? Eh, who cares! That concludes this episode, one of the only actual successful ones. You're welcome!

by fireee