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I think I've been avoiding how I feel these days.
The way I turn off my chat whenever I see you online.
The way my heart constricts whenever I see your name.
The way I miss you,
the way I still love you.
I hate having feelings for you, as much as I love you.
Because you never loved me, never will, never have.
And I, have always loved you. Always will, always have.
Always.
I love you, the way it hurts in many ways.
I love you when I'm busy. I love you when I avoid thinking of you. I love you when I look at Raj, and wonder... Have I always looked at you that way?
I love you when it hurts. I love you when it doesn't. I love you when I hate you. I love you when you reject me... a lot. I love you when I cry. I love you when I fall apart.
I love you when it's 12 am and I'm missing you. I love you when I tell myself I like Raj. I love you when I'm alone. With friends. With another person. I love you, still.
I love you in every way, almost not enough for words. I love you in my young heart, I love you in my young love. I love you even though it's too early. I'll still love you even when it's too late.
I love you.
I miss you.
I hate you.
I love you, the most.
From me,
From my heart.
Ps: Don't let my mind fool you. Sometimes I let it take control over myself... para naman di ako matawag na tanga.
Hanggang salita lang kasi ako, Riel.
(7/17/2016)
BINABASA MO ANG
la carta de amor
Non-FictionFor my love, Gabriel. Everything I've kept hidden; everything I wanted to say. How I caged the wild, how I tamed the love. How I built this wall. How I hid from you. My love that was never given, and will never be given, I hid it here in this saf...
