Jung Hana POV
I woke up the next day, realizing Hanbin slept soundly beside me. I looked at him with details.
That messy hair, I might never seen it again after this. Innocent puppy-like eyes. Strong hugs and deep kisses. I might have to say good bye to it all.
" Hanbin-ah. I'm so sorry making you feel worried over useless person like me. You shouldn't have- no. I mean we should never have meet or know each other. We should just brushed off as strangers. The feelings and the Hana you knew feels as if she'd change. No, she have changed ever since the day of the accident. I'm so sorry. I can't even feel what's our relationship mean. Kisses? That won't help. Or makeouts? No. I don't know why it turns out to be like this. The reason. I really don't know. I wishes we could be like before again. I can feel myself different from before. I changed your life fully. Thanks to your existence, I became close with many people and got friends. I also become more way closer with my sisters and know Haena died. My cold life, changed. Thanks to you. Right now, I don't know if I should end our relationship. I don't know how. I wish I could end it up like in the game. I know it's impossible. I wish we could end it properly. I'm sorry, " I said and rubbed his hair.
I wiped my tears with the tissue and was about to get up from the bed. Suddenly, he grabbed my arms. I was shocked, frightened, and scared at the same time. Not knowing what he'll say to me.
" Are you going to be just like that? " He asked.
I didn't turn my face at him. Finally, tears rolled down again on my cheeks.
" Jung Hana, "
Stop it. I don't wanna say anything now.
" Was it only lasts for few months? And you changed? "
" Do you mean all words that we said for the future are just nothing now? "
" No! " I shouted.
" I never mean that. Never, " I said.
" Then why? You likes Jinwoo hyung back? Or Mino? Is he that good? "
" Don't mention their names. It's nothing to do with both of them, " I replied.
" I fucking loves you. Really really really loves you. Maybe all things that I confessed to you was all shit, "
He cursed. And I hate that. I really hate it everytime he curses.
" Maybe it's not this time, "
" 'Not this time'? What? Oh. Maybe this is the time for Jinwoo hyung? Or Song Mino? " He raises his voice.
" IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH SONG MINO " I shouted, still facing my back to him.
" Then who? Kim Jinwoo?! " He asked in his stern voice. I didn't answer and stayed quiet for a few seconds.
" I just don't love you anymore. I got no feelings, " I said slowly.
" Lies. You lied. Stop lying Jung Hana, "
Tears coming out much than before.
" Talk to me, Jung Hana, " he said.
I let go of my hands from his holds and stand up. I was about to leave the room but he was faster. He turned my body around and looked at me in the eyes.
" You lied didn't you? " he asked
" No. I'm sorry. Let me go, "
" Enough with the lies Hana. I won't buy it, "
" I'm telling the truth here, " I said, holding my tears from flowing even more.
" You know I love you right? "
" Let's end it here, " I said.
His eyes. He showed me his envied eyes. He's holding the anger in.
" Did you really want our relationship to stop here? "
I nodded.
" Live your usual life. Don't bother about me. Make me as if I never exist in your life. Don't go have drinks just because of me. Don't let out of your anger to your members or anyone, " I said, still looking on the floor, not having the courage to look him in the eyes again.
" Jung Hana, "
" Leave me, " I said.
" Hana, "
For the last time, I said to leave me. He leave with his anger. Taking everything with him. I couldn't do anything. My heart breaks. Because of my own stupidity. I reached for my phone and called Soojung unnie.
[Phone conversation]
S - Hello?
H - Unnie..
S - Hey, Hana. What's wrong? Why are you crying?
H - I broke it up
S - Broke what?
H - It now ends.
S - What the hell is wrong with you?
H - I couldn't hold it..
S - Where are you?
H - Apartment
She hang up and next 15 minutes, she arrives infront of me.
" Unnie, " I looked at her.
" Hana-ya " She ran to hug me.
" What's wrong? "
" I ended our relationship "
" Hanbin? "
I nodded.
" Why? Did something bothers you? "
" I guess he's not for me, "
" You 'guess'? Fate is not something you can guess, Hana "
I stayed quiet. Not in any mood to do or say anything.
" I told you right before this? There will come the time where you'll think, you better off with Jinwoo instead of Hanbin. That you'll think Jinwoo is better than him. And this is it. The time which I've been warned about, "
See? She knows all. She knows me more than I know myself.
" I don't know why. The feelings is all of sudden coming to me. I really don't know " I said and wiped my tears on my cheeks.
" Thats how life goes on. You'll face many hardships. Just like mine and Sooyeon unnie. We got into many troubles. Sometimes solved and sometimes left unsolved. We got haters, sasaengs, fans and bubbly relationship for us to keep living especially around loving family, "
" I broke his heart "
" And you broke yours too, "
I cried, cried and cried until it feels as if I don't wanna cry anymore. I'm sick of crying already. I made a hurry decision. I'm so stupid.
" What should I do? " I asked my sister.
" I guess you should go with the flow now. For now, " She said.
" I don't know if I could do it, "
" You can and I am sure, "
I forced a smile to her.
Just how my life changed in a split of time.
