A Little Unsteady (A Grey's Anatomy Story)

The first week..then forever

                  

It's all about lines. The finish line at the end of residency, waiting in line for a chance at the operating table, and then there's the most important line, the line separating you from the people you work with. It doesn't help to get too familiar, to make friends. You need boundaries, between you and the rest of the world. Other people are far too messy. It's all about lines. Drawing lines in the sand and praying like hell no one crosses them.

"Quinn get to rounds already will you!" Karev scolded as he walked by

I had literally just woken from a 20 minute power nap after a 30 hour shift and now its 6am and I'm back at it for another day.

"Yes sir" I said timidly as I followed behind Dr Karev to our first patient while the rest of the intern group caught up with us at the room

"Quinn speak" Karev said as we entered the patient's room

Lying there was a young boy with dirty blonde hair and big blue eyes, he was pale and weak. He was surrounded by his mother, father and his older sister. The worry and stress was plain to see across each of their faces. They just wanted their little guy to get better.

"This is Nico Miller, he is 8 years old and suffering from osteosarcoma. He's here with us today for a tumour removal from the distal femur which will be performed by Dr Torres and Dr Karev. This is Nico's seventh surgery and is currently on the transplant list for a bone marrow transplant." I said with confidence while looking at Nico's chart on my tablet, then looked up and smiled at the family

"Dr Torres is currently in another surgery but we're going to get Nico prepped and ready and we'll have him in the OR as soon as possible Mr and Mrs Miller" Karev said sweetly as he walked over to Nico's bed side

This first week on Karev's service was extremely difficult, he was an ass and a slave driver but when it came to the patients he was a completely different person. He was sweet, kind and caring. It made all the interns swoon for about 5 seconds until he turned into Satan once again.

"Ross and Smith, get Nico prepped. Quinn come with me and the rest of you go finish rounds" Karev mumbled as we left the room

"What is it sir?" I asked as I swiftly followed behind Dr Karev

"Don't call me sir, it's weird and old fashioned. Plus I'm not the chief. Just call me Doctor Karev alright?" Karev said in annoyance as he turned to face me

"Yes si.... I mean, yes Dr Karev" I smiled "What do you need me for?" I asked with a more serious tone now

"Robbins wants you to go watch her surgery on some kid named Julie? She's in OR 2 right now" Karev informed me as he flipped through charts on his tablet

"Oh right! Yes! Thank you sir" I said as I took to a jogging pace

"It's Doctor Karev" he yelled after me

"Sorry" I called back with a laugh

I turned to see him grumble to himself but there was a hint of a smile touching the corners of his lips as he turned away. The guy wasn't all that bad.

I made my way to the elevator at the end of the paeds floor and made my way down to the OR floor and into OR 2. There was no need for me to scrub in since I wasn't actually operating yet, just watching and learning. Julie was a 6 year old girl with neuroblastoma. Her SATs were poor last night so Dr Robbins and I worked through the night to keep her stable and now Robbins and Dr Derek Shepherd were performing a craniotomy on Julie.

"Nice to see you Dr Quinn" Dr Robbins greeted me cheerfully

"Good morning Dr Robbins, good morning Dr Shepherd" I said as I stood near the operating table

"Morning Dr Quinn, how are you?" Shepherd said chivalrously

"Good, thank you Doctor"

"Did you get some sleep Doctor Quinn?" Robbins asked curiously

"Just grabbed a power nap before rounds" I replied as I strained my neck to see the screen

"Good, why don't you come up here beside me and get a better look at Julie's surgery. Dr Shepherd has just reached the tumour and he's gotta control this bleeder first" Robbins informed me

I stood just behind Dr Robbins' shoulder and looked in at what Dr Shepherd was doing. 

"Her brain is swelling the bleeding is too much for her" Dr Shepherd said worryingly "I can't control this bleeder"

Her BP began to drop. Her heart couldn't take the strain of the bleed and she went into V-Fib.

"Paddles" Dr Robbins ordered the scrub nurse hurriedly "Derek keep draining the bleeding, I need to stabilise her heart"

"Arizona she's bleeding too much. If she wakes from this she'll have next to no motor function and soon enough she'll be brain dead." Dr Shepherd said in a deep serious tone

"Derek we have to try!" Dr Robbins snapped in reply "Charge to 150" Dr Robbins rubbed the paddles together "Clear" she called before hitting Julie with a shock from the defibrillator. Her body jerked upwards and landed back on the table. No change

"Charge to 200" Robbins yelled

"Arizona" Shepherd said sternly

"Clear" once again Robbins shocked her but her hart flat lined

"Arizona, she's gone! Let her go" Dr Shepherd yelled

Dr Robbins threw the paddles back onto the crash cart and ripped her mask from her face. She pulled her scrub gown from her body and threw it into the waste container along with her mask and gloves and she stormed out through the OR doors. Shepherd hung his head and stepped away from Julie's lifeless body and placed his tools back onto the tray beside him. He removed his mask and looked up at the clock.

"Time of death. 8:45am" Dr Shepherd said sadly

I stood away from the table and let him pass me. I could feel tears brimming my eyes and I knew I had to stop before anyone saw me. Pediatrics was a bitch and I couldn't wait until this week's rotation was finished.

The day went from bad to worse. When Ross and Smith finally prepped Nico and got him to the OR it was almost 4pm before Dr Torres could perform the surgery. Ross, Smith and I all observed from the gallery. When Torres opened him she found Nico's tumor had significantly worsened and was eating away the bone marrow in his leg. The leg would soon go necrotic. Dr Torres and Dr Karev had no choice but to amputate Nico's leg. He was just 8 years old and now he has to live with a prosthetic for the rest of his life. It was 7pm when the surgery was finished, I then had to complete a round of post ops and as soon as that clock struck 9pm I got the hell out of there and hit Joe's to blow off some steam with the other interns. As I stuffed my scrubs into my locker I grabbed my bag and left the room. As I walked towards the main doors of the hospital Doctor Karev stopped me in my tracks

"Good work this week Quinn, you're not as shitty of an intern as I expected" Karev said as he left his tablet back into the nurses station without even looking up at me

"Thanks Doctor Karev" I smiled as I turned and left the hospital

***

"Tequila" Cassie and I both said in sync as we sat at the bar

"Tough week?" Cassie asked as she turned to face me

"The worst" I mumbled as I grabbed up my Tequila and drank as much as I could in one go

"Well that's our first week as interns done and dusted" Justin butted in as he raised his glass

We all grunted in acknowledgement and held our glasses up sarcastically. We all took a seat at a table and began discussing the week we just had. One of the bar staff walked towards us and placed another shot of tequila in front of me.

"Sorry dude, I didn't order this" I said confused

"It's from that guy" the bar man said uninterested as he pointed towards a guy at the far side of the bar

"Is that Doctor Karev?" Rose asked blushing

"Yeah" I smiled as I looked down at the drink "It sure is"