A Little Unsteady (A Grey's Anatomy Story)

Lose Control With Me

The extraction surgery was a success on Jason but it has been 4 weeks and still no sign of a new liver. His health was beginning to rapidly decline and there wasn't much we could do for him without a healthy liver.

Arizona had been on opposite shifts to me for the last 4 weeks and every time I tried to talk to her she did everything she could to avoid me. It was like we were right back where we started and it was killing me. I'm still attending AA meetings and honestly they're the only thing keeping me from driving straight back to that motel and buying more drugs. But I had to keep fighting, I had to stay strong. For Arizona.

The day was slow and I just wanted to go home. I watched as the hands of the clock slowly ticked by, minute after minute, hour after hour. Finally the hands struck 9pm and I was free. I only had 2 surgeries today and then I had to work up some hours in the clinic which was just an absolute drag. I made my way home and fell into the couch as Meredith entered the living room.

"Wine?" Meredith asked when she saw me

"I'm thinking it's a brandy kind of night" I mused

"Good choice, I think Derek has a nice bottle hid away somewhere" she grinned

Meredith left the room and soon returned with a rather expensive looking bottle of brandy and two small glasses.

"Thanks" I smiled as she handed me a glass and filled it up

"Rough day?" she asked as she sat on the sofa beside me

"Just super long. Still no sign of a liver for Jason. I was put in the clinic aswell which didn't help" I sighed as I took a swig of the brandy as I let it slowly burn down the back of my throat

"You're on my service next week so don't worry, I'll have you stuck in surgeries all week, you'll be begging for the clinic" Meredith lightened the mood

"Good" I laughed

"Have you heard from Arizona?" her tone grew concerned

"No, I think she's avoiding me. I've tried all month to just have a proper conversation and all she does is change the subject or find something better to do" I mumbled as I stared at my glass "I don't know what to do Mer, I think I've just fucked this all up" I sighed

"You need to give her time Jamie, she went through hell to get you back. She deserves time." Meredith reasoned

"I know, I know" I sighed "But she won't even lay a hand on me Mer, it's like she's afraid to touch me in case I break or something" I said in frustration

"You almost died in her arms Jamie, it's pretty understandable why she's being cautious" Meredith replied wisely

"You're right" I gave up "Can you pass me the bottle?" I asked, reaching out for the alcohol

Meredith stood up to pass me the bottle.

"I've got an early start so I'm going to go to bed" she said

"I'm going over to Arizona's and wait until she gets home. She gave me back my key last week" I smiled at the small bit of progress we had made

"Do you want me to call you a taxi?" Meredith asked

"No I'll call one, you go get some sleep" I said as I stood up and walked to the door with Meredith

"Here, take the brandy. Derek doesn't even drink brandy" she smiled

"I might just need it" I laughed "I'll see you at work" I said as I opened the front door

"Oh and Jamie" Meredith called before I left