A Little Unsteady (A Grey's Anatomy Story)

All I Do Is Fuck Things Up

*Arizona's P.O.V.*

"Great job guys, let's get this little dude closed up and back to his mom" Jackson said as he began finishing up the surgery

I took that as my que to leave and get as far away from Lauren as possible.

"Do you need me for anything else Dr Avery?" I asked as politely as possible

"Uh, no I've got it from here Arizona" Jackson replied absentmindedly as he focused his attention on the child

I turned away from the surgical table and removed my surgical gown and gloves along with my mask, dumping them in the trash on the way out. I scrubbed out as quick as I could and returned to the pediatric ward. I found myself standing at the nurses station unsure of what to do or where to go. I began to panic, trying to think of a way to avoid Lauren. The events of today between Jamie and I and then Lauren's appearance and a super long and awkward surgery soon began to take it's toll on me. I couldn't catch my breath and began to hyperventilate. The room began to spin around me and before I could control it, the room became enshrouded in darkness.

"Hey are you alright?" I heard an unfamiliar voice, as I awoke in an unfamiliar room

I sat up slowly and realized I was an in an on-call room. I soon recognized the face in front of me also.

"What happened?" I mumbled as I rubbed my the side of my head

"You fainted in the hall just as I was passing. A nurse helped me bring you in here. You need sleep Arizona, you're exhausted" Lauren said concerned

"You have some nerve showing up here Lauren" I spat as I swung my legs over the bed and went to stand up. I stood up far too fast and soon fell back down on the bed

"Arizona you're not going anywhere. You need to rest" Lauren said as she helped me back on the bed

"Don't touch me" I growled as I jerked my shoulder away from her grasp

"You think I want to be here Arizona? After everything!" She said, frustrated at my ingratitude

"Then why did you come?" I mumbled

"I had no choice! I'm the only craniofacial surgeon available this side of the country. Jackson couldn't do it alone so I needed to be here. I didn't expect you to scrub in" she explained exasperated

"Can you just leave please" I said as I turned my back to her, facing the wall

"Arizona, I'm sorry for getting between you and Callie ok. But I am not sorry about what happened between us. You wouldn't have turned back if you didn't feel something. And I know there was something between us" She pressed

"Just get out Lauren" I raised my voice

"Arizona, please just look at me" she said softly "I just want to talk"

"I have nothing to say to you Lauren" I yelled as I sat up in the bed and turned to face her "You ruined me! You're the reason Callie left" I finally lost it, I stood up from the bed to meet her face to face

"If I didn't sleep with you, I wouldn't have drove Callie away, she wouldn't have met Penny and I'd still have my daughter! You did this Lauren!" I screamed, letting my emotions get the better of me

"Woah, hold on! You mean Callie's gone?" Lauren stood back in shock

"Yes and she took Sofia with her" I said lowering my tone

"Arizona you chose to turn back, you chose to sleep with me You could've walked away but you didn't. You stayed" Lauren said in a low tone as she took a step closer to me

"You were the only one who paid any attention to me" I whispered as I hung my head "Callie was so preoccupied with treating me like a patient and not like her wife. You came and you just made me feel... you made me feel wanted" I admitted

For some reason I didn't mention Jamie to Lauren. If Jamie wanted to block me out, if she wanted me to walk away and move on, then maybe I should. I should think about me for once. My needs. My wants.

Lauren took another step towards me as she stood directly face to face with me. She cautiously placed her hand on my cheek. I could feel her warmth, the spark, as her skin came in contact with mine. Just like last time.

"Lose control with me Arizona" she whispered dangerously

At those words I couldn't hold back any longer. I closed the space between us and locked my lips with hers. The heat grew between us and we soon found ourselves removing each others scrubs. She was just as amazing as I remembered. For so long I resented her for what happened between Callie and I but the truth is I have always been waiting for her to return. A part of me felt the guilt, walking away from Jamie like this. But if she was going to ignore then I could do the exact same.

Our bodies hit the bed as Lauren pulled the sheets over us. Her body intertwined perfectly into mine and she soon made me forget everything wrong in my world. All that mattered right now was the two of us, right here, giving in to her each and every move.

We soon unfurled and I lay there beside her. Our breathes pacing in sync as she lay against me. I could feel the heat radiate off every inch of her perfect skin and all I wanted to do was lay there and never move.

"I could stay you know" she broke the silence

"What?" I asked looking across at her

"I could ask for a transfer to Grey-Sloan. I could make you happy Arizona" she said seriously

At first my heart soared at her words. But I knew this was wrong. I knew I couldn't give up on Jamie, not yet. I loved her too much to throw it all away.

"Lauren" I started

"Arizona, I know you want this just as much as I do" she tried convincing me

"Lauren, I have someone. And technically I shouldn't be here right now, I should be with her, or at least convincing her that I should be with her. I'm sorry" I admitted

"You said Callie left" she said confused

"I've met someone else" I replied sheepishly

"So what? I'm some booty call when things go wrong, is that it? God Arizona I thought you were better than that! I thought I meant something to you" She became angry and moved to leave the bed

"No Lauren please" I begged as I grabbed her arm

"I give up Arizona" she threw her hands in the air as she left the bed "Please don't speak to me again" she growled as she put back on her scrubs and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her

I fell back against the bed, letting out a frustrated sigh. I could never do anything right. All I do is fuck things up.