A Little Unsteady (A Grey's Anatomy Story)

Escape

I left Arizona's as fast as I could, wanting to escape the tension and the hurt I had left upon her face. It killed me to say those things. All I wanted to do was to take her back into my arms and tell her everything was going to be fine. But that would be a lie, I couldn't lead her on like that, I couldn't just put on a mask and pretend that I was ok. Maybe now she will give up on me, maybe she'll realize it's time to just throw in the towel. I drove to the only place I knew I could find comfort. The motel where it all started.

Since leaving the hospital I found myself gradually depending more and more on the morphine they supplied in the hospital. However, it's not something they let you take home. Instead they just throw some shitty pain killers at you and tell you to suck it up. So I went back to the motel to find some escape and now I find myself there almost every week. The guys tried to push the harder stuff on me but even I have my limits.

I made my way up the rusty old metal stairs that covered the outside of the grubby old motel and found myself at room 224. I gave a sharp knock and was greeted by a tall overly muscular man with a tight buzz cut and a dark, intimidating stare. Until he realized who I was and his demeanor soon lightened up.

"Hey Quinn, what can I do for you?" David asked

"Hey Dave, the usual please" I mumbled as I looked around me

I was so paranoid that someone I knew would show up and spot me. If anyone found out what I was doing I'd lose my career. Not that that bothered me lately since I hadn't set foot inside the hospital in 6 weeks.

David returned to the door with a small plastic capsule containing the clear liquid. This was much stronger than the one they gave in the hospital and eased the pain for a little while. I handed David the money and left without another word. I returned to my car and soon removed a sterile syringe from the glove compartment. Meredith always kept spare ones in her first aid kit at home so I took the liberty of grabbing one every now and again. I pushed back the seat of my car and lay back as I found just the right vein to insert the syringe in. I filled the syringe with the clear liquid from the capsule and pierced my skin, watching as the narcotic slowly entered my bloodstream. I shut my eyes and waited for the world to just slip away.

***

*Arizona's P.O.V.*

I stood there, frozen. Unsure of how to react to what just happened. I thought when I heard Jamie walk through that front door that that was it. It was over and I finally had her back. But instead she has just managed to distance herself further from me. I walked into my bedroom to find that she had taken all her clothes. There was one thing she had missed though. In my drawer I kept her favorite t-shirt. The grey one with NAVY printed on the front. I walked to my drawer and removed the t-shirt, holding it up to my face, trying to find her sweet scent. It smelled exactly like her. I could feel her warmth almost radiate through the material. I slumped to the ground, feeling my emotions get the better of me as my eyes began to water. I clung tight to what I had left of her, wishing it was her that I was holding instead of some shitty piece of cotton.

I pulled myself off the ground after letting out the sobs I tried to hold back in front of Jamie. I needed to get out of the house, I needed to clear my head. I decided to leave for the hospital and give Karev the night off. Work was the only thing that was going to distract me.

I soon arrived at Grey-Sloan memorial and made my way to the pediatric ward. I found Karev monitoring one of the babies in the NICU.

"Arizona you're supposed to have the night off" Karev stated, confused as he saw me entering the natal ward

"DeLuca is away and I was bored on my own, besides you've worked the night shift enough this week. Go get some rest" I smiled warmly, trying to hide my emotions from earlier

"Thanks Robbins. I owe you" Karev's smile stretched from ear to ear as he picked up his tablet and left the room

I was alone for all of two minutes when Jackson entered the room.

"Hey Arizona, do you mind scrubbing in on this cranioplasty with me. The consulting craniofacial surgeon backed out last minute but they're sending someone else pretty soon. I just need an extra set of hands with this kid until then" Jackson flashed a smile

"Of course. I just need to finish checking on these kids and I'll be right there" I smiled, glad I had a good surgery to take my mind off everything

I was soon finished making sure all the tiny humans were settled for the night and I made my way to the OR floor. Dr Avery was already inside waiting for me as I scrubbed in. I was gowned and gloved and ready to begin the procedure.

"Excuse me Dr Avery, there's a Dr Boswell waiting outside for you" One of the nurses called from the door

"Oh tell her to scrub in and come on in" He replied through his surgical mask

I paid no attention to the name at first but as soon as I glanced at the figure that stood behind the glass, my heart almost stopped and my body froze.

"Good evening Dr Avery, I'm looking forward to assisting you on this one" she smiled as she entered the OR

"Great to see you again Dr Boswell, it's been too long" Jackson replied charmingly

"Hello Arizona" the blonde now turned to me as she placed her gloves on her hands

"Hello Lauren" I almost choked trying to say her name