A Little Unsteady (A Grey's Anatomy Story)

Baby, I'm Right Here

** Jamie's P.O.V. **

"What have we got Dr Grey?" I huffed as I rushed to Meredith's side

"A 40 year old male with severe diverticulitis. His sigmoid colon is completely inflamed, we're going to have to get in there and remove part of his large intestine before it ruptures in his body cavity" Meredith spoke as she rushed into the patient's room

"I'll make sure his SATs are stable and prep him for surgery. You go scrub in" I said

"Thanks Quinn, I'll see you in surgery" Meredith shot me a smile as she left the room

"Alright Mr Parsons, I know you're in a lot of pain but I'm going to give you some medicine that's going to help you and then we're going to get you to the OR ok?" I said positively as I made sure his SATs were stable

"Thank you Doctor" he said appreciatively as he winced in pain

I began to inject the morphine into his shunt. I took a deep breath as I watched the clear liquid enter his bloodstream. It was still hard for me to administer the drug. It reminded me of just running away from the pain, not having to face any of the hard decisions of life. But I knew I didn't need it anymore. Arizona is back in my life and I'm finally caught up on all the other residents. I was doing really well.

I began prepping the patient and was soon wheeling him down the hall towards the elevator. We took two floors up to the OR floor and I brought him in to Meredith.

"Thanks Jamie, go scrub in" Meredith said through her surgical mask

I swiftly scrubbed in, not wanting to miss any of the procedure. I entered the OR and made my way to the other side of the table across from Meredith.

"10 blade" Meredith held out her hand to receive the scalpel from the scrub nurse

Meredith created an incision across the man's abdomen.

"Dr Quinn, can you place the re-tractor please?" Meredith asked

I placed the re-tractor inside the incision to give Dr Grey a clearer view of what she was doing.

"Alright, Dr Quinn if you look closely you'll see the inflamed tissue surrounding the colon. We're going to have to remove that and resect part of his large intestine." Meredith spoke factually

I watched as Meredith continued the procedure. She had successfully removed the infected part of the colon and restored proper intestinal function. Mr Parsons will be back to normal in no time. I was in awe every time I watched Dr Grey. She was constantly calm, cool and collected. Nothing phased her.

"Alright Dr Quinn you can close him up" Meredith said as she stood up straight to stretch her back

"Thank you Dr Grey" I smiled through the mask as I began suturing the incision

I was soon finished and Mr Parsons was returned to his room. I finished my post op inspection and all looked well.

I walked into the hall as my phone began to ring. I removed it from my pocket and saw Arizona's name flash across the screen.

"Hey babe what's up?" I smiled to myself

"Jamie" I heard Arizona whisper painfully over the phone "I...she..help" she spoke as if she was under a horrific strain, stuttering and muttering

"Arizona? Arizona what the hell is going on?" I began to panic and the phone line went dead

Something was desperately wrong. I needed to get home.

"Jamie you look like you've just seen a ghost" DeLuca approached me

"Andrew" I whispered as I almost fell against him, grabbing his arm for support before I could hit the ground

"Woah Jamie, you need to sit down. What's wrong? What happened?" DeLuca asked concerned

"It's Arizona, somethings wrong. She's hurt. We need to get to her house now!" I said in shock as I began to fluster

"Jamie calm down. What's happened to Arizona? Has she called?" DeLuca questioned

"How the hell am I supposed to know what happened" I snapped

"I'm sorry, I just" DeLuca tried to apologize

"No sorry, I shouldn't snap, it's not your fault" I sighed "We need to go, she needs my help"

"Jamie?" I heard Doctor Avery call from down the hall "It's Arizona, you need to get to the pit now" he said concerned

I ran alongside DeLuca and took the elevator down to the pit and sprinted into the trauma room

"Where is she?" I yelled, worry taking over me

"She's in trauma room 1, she's been stabbed, she's lost a lot of blood" Jackson informed me

I burst through the doors of the trauma room as I saw Dr Hunt and Dr Kepner work on Arizona.

"Arizona?" I called as I ran to her side

"Dr Quinn we have her sedated, we need to stop the blood. We've hung a bag of AB positive that should help but we need to get her to an OR. You're too flustered to do anything so I need you to wait outside until we can stabilize her" Dr Hunt ordered

I ignored his orders and grabbed Arizona's hand. Squeezing it gently.

"Hey Arizona, baby I'm right here ok. I'm not leaving your side do you hear me? I'm right here. Don't you dare leave me you hear me? I love you Arizona" I began sobbing as the tears rolled down my cheeks

"Dr Quinn you need to step back and let us work. We're going to do everything we can for ok. You know that" Dr Hunt said softly

I did what I was told and gave Arizona's hand one last gentle squeeze before I left the room.

"Hey she's going to be ok Jamie she's a fighter!" DeLuca tried to comfort me but I just brushed past him and ran to the nearest bathroom

I stood in front of the long row of mirrors and watched as the tears streamed down my face. I felt like I couldn't even recognize the person standing in front of me. I felt as if someone was tearing apart my insides and I didn't know how to stop it from happening. Actually, I knew of one way to make it stop. I could, you know. I could just walk out of here and get myself a nice dose of morphine. I could run away from all this. Arizona would never know, she's out cold on an OR table right now. I began to take huge intakes of air as I tried to slow my heart rate.

"My name is Jamie Grace Quinn, I'm 25 years old. My father is Jack Quinn. Alive. My mother is Rosalyn Quinn. Deceased. I have three brothers. Chris. Alive. Blake. Deceased. James. Alive. I'm from the state of New York. I attended Washington University. I am a surgical resident at Grey-Sloan memorial hospital. I have a girlfriend. Pediatric surgeon Dr Arizona Robbins. Presumed Alive." I muttered specifically to myself over and over again just like they taught us at the meetings. I drilled the facts into my brain until the feelings of want vanished and I knew I no longer needed the drug. What I needed was to be by Arizona's side.