There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere, and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountaintop of our desires.
- Nelson Mandela
A/n: Working on a Capital Steez and Raury story rn :) I appreciate you guys! Thanks for the votes, views and comments! 💜💜 *hugs*
It took me a while to get out of the hole I was in when Steez passed but I'm a lot more happy now. I know I sound a little crazy but I see him in my dreams sometimes. We still talk, laugh and do all the things we used to do. My EP finally came out and I opened for SZA! The crowd loved me and I also have a modeling career. Jamal got signed to RCA, models and has a pretty big fanbase. The only thing that still remained the same is Leah's bitch ass. Yesterday she had the nerve to say that I'm not built for modeling. Jay told me she's just jealous. Ja'Miyah and I are the best of friends and Jacques and I are dating and we live together in his house. Jacques has a pretty big fanbase as well. My fanbase on the other hand is exactly how I want it to be. Some people know me and some people don't which is all right with me. I don't want paparazzi or fans chasing after me anyway. Anyway, can I tell you guys a secret? I can trust you right? Good! Don't run your mouth when I tell you this -_- don't tell ya mama, ya daddy or your dog this but I haven't been honest. With myself or Jacques. You thought this story was over when you read the beginning of this chapter didn't you? Oh no, no, no! You thought wrong!
I'm bad at explaining so Imma just give y'all a flashback.
* Flashback to April 25 *
I just now got into the studio and Jesse's here of course. He has a girlfriend now. Mhm that's right! A girl. At first I wasn't mad! I'm still not but I've been trying to catch his attention. Don't judge ok but I've been trying to basically "seduce" him. I'm with Jacques right? I already told y'all and we both work in the same studio now. I don't dress like I usually do when I know Jesse is gonna be around. Jacques thinks I'm dressing up for him and I am don't get me wrong! I love Jack but deep down its for Jesse. I know you all are like "So what Skylar? It's just clothes 😒!" Rolling ya eyes and everything. You're totally right! They are just clothes but notice how I wore a lot of hoodies earlier in the story and covered myself. I don't really wear them anymore. I know what Jesse likes seeing women wearing. Dresses, crop tops, leggings and all that other stuff because his girlfriend wears that. This is what I'm wearing now
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It's a bit more girly but I actually like it. My modeling career has changed the way I dressed a little bit, I still dress the same as before sometimes. His girlfriend is cool and all but she needs to bounce! Her name is Annalise, she's the same age as Jesse and she's like a big sister to me but still. I want what I ask for and I get what I want.
Pronounced: ANN•UH•LEESE
"Skylar." Jesse chuckled. "The fuck are you thinking about. I asked you a question like two minutes ago."
"Huh?" I snapped out of it. "I was just thinking about a beat."
"What beat?" He was on the his IPad looking for songs to sample. "Do you wanna sample a song?"
"I dunno yet. Can I ask you a question?" I asked awkwardly.
"What's good?" He put the iPad down and gave me his undivided attention.
"Well you know how we're both in relationships?"
"Ok."
"Do you really love Annalise?"
He wrinkled his nose. "Skylar please-"
"Just answer the question please." I begged.
He sighed.
"You're only going out with her because you can't stop thinking about me, you think dating her will get rid of the wet dreams you have about me. Ever since I started going out with Jacques you've been trying to avoid me because you're tempted."
He laughed. "You s-"
"Deny it! Tell me you don't want me! Tell me you never dreamed about us having sex and waking up with sticky boxers. Tell me how when you're fucking Anna you wish it were me you were inside of."
He paused and looked down.
"I'm waiting!" I said impatiently.
"What about you and Jacques?" He asked.
"This isn't about Jacques and I. It's about how we hide our feelings for each other. Jesse I know you want me, it sounds self centered as fuck but it's true."
"You're right." He admitted.
"About what?"
"About me wanting you. I do have dreams about us fucking. That time when we fucked in the printer room will never leave me. I want you so bad but I can't have you."
"Is that it?" I asked.
He leaned in and we started making out. His hands were caressing my cheeks and I sat on his lap. We didn't go all the way but lord knows I wanted to and my panties were dripping. History repeats itself.
