Boy With The Cinderblock Garden (Luke Hemmings AU/Fanfiction)

Part 2: 8

Soundtrack:
Spirits by Strumbellas
Youth by Daughter

luke's pov

Since my first major black out when I had called Ashton over, I had some more. That was Sunday. It was now only Thursday and I was had a feeling that things were about to only get worse. Ashton and I had figured out that those periods of memory loss were when V's ghost would possess my body. Luckily she never did it while I was in front of too many people or during class. But then again, that may be her goal, to take advantage of me when I'm alone and helpless. When she would posses me, she would usually get me to harm myself. I didn't know if she was trying kill me and just wasn't strong enough, or if she was just trying to slowly hurt me and drag this out for as long as possible. I also didn't know if she was mad at me for being with Liana, or if she just blaming me for her death. Either way, she would probably come after Liana next. Until I figured this all out and got it to stop, I had to avoid spending too much time with her, especially one on one. It was too dangerous. It also wasn't safe to tell her. How would I know she'd even believe me anyway? She might just break up with me and tell me that I'm crazy. I felt terrible keeping secrets from her, but I had to protect her at all costs. She meant too much to me. I was haunted and it wasn't safe for her, me, or anyone.

calum's pov

It was finally warm enough outside to swim so after soccer practice, Theo invited us all over to his house for a team pool party. He's the captain of the team, so he usually hosted the get togethers.

For a couple hours, we just swam and played in the pool, ran and jumped onto floats, ate hot dogs, drank lemonade, etc. We never really talked about anything serious, but some of the guys did ask me about Lynnie. I just smiled, lied and said that we were fine. The truth was, her and I had gone on two dates now and texted a lot. I knew she wanted to go on more dates and she really liked me, but I just wasn't sure. She is hilarious, gorgeous, adorable, and plenty of other things. It wasn't that there was anything wrong with her. It was more like something wrong with me.

I've known for a while that I haven't felt the same way about girls that my friends do, but this was my first time experiencing it firsthand. I always thought it was just that I was a late bloomer or something. That I would get older and eventually be into girls like that, but I guess I was wrong. I knew what I had to do and that I couldn't lead Lynnie on like this anymore. But if we weren't even dating exclusively yet, could I even break up with her? Or do I just stop answering her texts? I didn't know how to do this. I didn't want to hurt her. I cared too much. She deserved someone amazing who could love her back in the way she loved them. I just couldn't give her that.

I was trying to not think about my sudden realization and my relationship problems too much and just focus on the mindless fun, but it was hard. The whole time I was there, my mind kept racing with questions and concerns about what I was going to do next. I hoped people couldn't tell I was off today.

I figured maybe if I stayed for a while, I would eventually start to have more fun and be able to relax, but it didn't work that well. So, I was the last one to leave. Now it was just Theo and I. We were sharing a float, my arms and chest resting on one side of it, his arms and chest on the other side as our legs floated behind us and we faced each other. I had heard Trina mention before about how hot and gorgeous Theo was, but I didn't really realize what she meant until now. Along with his charming, slightly crooked smile, he had pretty eyes that sparkled in the sun and lit up when he talked to his friends, covered by thick, long eyelashes. His face was really nice, she wasn't wrong. But no, I couldn't be thinking like this. Him and Trina liked each other and they were both some of my best friends. Plus, who's to say that even if he didn't like her, that he would like me? He's probably straight like all of my other guy friends. I was simply caught up in all of my newly found emotions, confused about what to really feel.

"So, you and Lynnie still good? Sorry, I bet everyone's asking you this. We just like hearing about new relationships. The soccer players are the most gossipy boys sports team in the whole school." Theo said with a laugh that shook his tanned chest. "But seriously, I'm not asking for gossip. I'm asking because I genuinely care."

I wondered if I should give Theo the same bullshit answer I was giving everyone else, or actually tell him the truth. I decided on the truth since Theo and I were pretty close.

"Well, to be honest, it's not good." I said looking down, holding back tears. "She's amazing and everything, I just can't really give her what she wants and deserves. It sucks that I don't like her the way she likes me." I sighed. "I don't know what to do." I stopped, not willing to tell him the whole truth yet. The truth that I was gay.

"Aw." Theo said sincerely. "I think you should just tell her the truth and apologize. I'm sure she'll understand."

"I don't know." I shrugged lightly.

"What about you? How's it going with Trina? She isn't being a bitch to you yet, is she?"

Theo laughed and shook his head. "No. Not at all. Actually, it's pretty good. I like her a lot. And I think she likes me too. The only problem is I think I kind of like someone else too. I just haven't decided who I want yet."

"Oh. Does she know?" I felt bad for Trina that the guy she was so into night like someone else.

"No." He said. "I don't think the other person does either." He said, looking up into my eyes. The way his eyes twinkled made my heart flutter. No, Calum, you can't do this right now.

I looked down, blushing probably. We were still leaning on opposite sides of the float, but I realized our arms were only a few inches a part, and our faces about a foot. I had no idea what I was thinking or why I thought I should do it, but I leaned my head closer towards his. He also came closer and our faces met to form a kiss. It was one of the most scary but exciting things I had ever experienced. It only lasted a few seconds though. After we both pulled away, Theo's face changed from a look of fondness to one of guilt and fear. "I'm sorry. I--" he stuttered, shaking his head. "Trina's like your best friend and I really like her. Why did I- ? Why did we-? Ugh." Theo said, struggling to find his words as he pushed himself off the float and swam away.

I got off the float as well and followed him.

"I'm sorry Theo. It just at the moment I thought maybe, I don't know." I said, shaking my head, barely even believing myself. "That maybe that other person was me." I blurted.

Theo looked back at me, seeming slightly upset but also slightly okay with what went down. We were several feet apart now, as I was almost out of the pool and he was at the other side of the shallow end. "It was! Okay?" He said, his face twitching a bit.

I got out and began to dry off, trying to process what just happened.

"I- I'm not gay, though." Theo said to the back of my head. I just shook my head and smirked as I grabbed the rest of the stuff and headed out. He might not be, but I sure am.