forty
Luke was taking a shower and Michael was laying in bed. Michael was keeping the bed warm, keeping the house warm. He was filled with such warmth and, for some unknown reason, that scared Luke.
Luke was having a minor panic attack as the steaming hot water rolled down his spine and collected at his feet. Everything was changing and, oh God, he hated it. He was so used to everything being the same and now everything was different.
He wasn't living in his apartment all alone. He wasn't watering the plants nor feeding the birds (as his usual ritual used to involve). He wasn't going to bed on the right side of the bed anymore, instead he was letting Michael sleep on his side of the bed.
Everything was moving so fast, picking up from the ground and shooting off to the stars.
Luke wasn't able to feel his lungs, his breath so shallow his head began to ache.
He turned off the shower before he'd accidentally drown himself. He got out into the air, the coldness piercing his skin. He wrapped himself in a towel, standing at the fogged up mirror and staring at the figure in front of him.
He wasn't sad, he wasn't happy, though. He was just there. Luke hasn't had time in the last few months to take a deep breath and truly understand the situations he's been in.
He dries off, putting pajamas on himself and drying his hair once more.
Michael is laying on the right side of the bed, a book in his hands. He looks up, giving his partner a smile before looking back down.
The older man climbs to the left side of bed, resting his head on Michael's shoulder. Mike readjusts his body, wrapping his arm around Luke.
Luke forgets how to speak as he stares down at their entwined bodies.
Mike rests his book down on the nightstand, everything feeling so at peace to him. He likes their routines, he likes the way he can imagine spending every other night like this. "How was your day?" Michael asks quietly, figuring his younger brother was asleep across the hall (he wasn't).
Luke shrugs, "Tiring."
Michael reaches down at their feet, puling up a few scrunched up blankets and covering their bodies. Everything feels cozy. "The remodel of the office on the west side is looking really good so far, do you wanna come down on Monday and see it?"
"Everything is changing, Mike."
"Yeah, isn't it great?"
Luke shrugs his shoulders. He's speaking in monotone, "It's scary. Everything has been the same for 10 years, then you come along and it's all different."
"It's different, but it's good, yeah?" Michael's fingers are rubbing the tiniest of circles against the peaks of Luke's back.
"I barely noticed you, then I fell in complete and utter love with you, and now I have you. I never thought that any of this would happen again, I didn't think I could feel this way again." Luke wasn't always sure he wanted to feel this way.
Michael paused, not sure what else to say. He stared up at their ceiling, collecting his thoughts. He tried to imagine what would happen if the were next thing out of Luke's mouth were the words of a break-up. He would be heartbroken, he knows for a fact that he would be purely heartbroken without Luke.
"There are a lot of things I'm unsure about," Michael says, "I don't know what's going to happen when I'm running a firm all by myself. I don't know what's going to happen if Jack gets expelled again. I don't know what's going to happen in a year, five years, ten years, or more.
"But, I know one thing. I know that I am in love with you. This world sucks, bad things happen. You are one of the only good things to ever happen to me. We aren't changing, we're just growing. We're growing together."
Luke nods as he swallows a lump in his throat. "I'm not questioning my love for you," he responds, "I'm just a little lost."
Michael wraps his arm tighter around his lover, "Aren't we all?"
