forty six
Jack and Michael's parents were pronounced dead on scene eleven years ago, the official time was 01:47.
At 1:20 a.m., Jack and Michael both got out of bed. They were met in shock by presence of each other.
"What're you doing up?" Michael asks his little brother quietly, trying not to wake Luke sleeping only a thin, plaster wall away.
"Nothing, you?"
"Nothing."
Jack stands up on the tips of his toes before rolling back down to his heels. "Were you going to visit Mom and Dad?"
Mike nods. "You?"
"Yeah." Jack looks up at Michael, not a single emotion written upon his face. "We should get going if we wanna be there—."
"Yeah." Mike leads the way out their apartment door, down the hall, down to the basement parking garage, and into their barely used car. He sits in the front seat for a second and stares off into the dark garage.
Some track is playing through the speakers now, the windows are rolled down, Michael and Jack are both beyond tired. Any other night, it'd be okay. Tonight, though, they both felt dead. They both felt that they, too, were six feet underground.
It was an awful feeling.
They arrived at the cemetery in which their parents laid a little after 1:40. They got out of Michael's car in silence, neither of them daring speak a word to one another. They walked side by side, the only sound filling the empty, dark site were their footsteps.
Their parents gravestones heads were attached, their bodies buried inches apart. Jack sat down first, leaning on the stone with their last name printed boldly. His head laid on the cold stone as he crossed his arms and tucked his feet underneath his body.
Michael sat a few inches away, facing the gravestone instead.
He placed his phone on the ground, watching the illuminated screen tick from 1:45 to 1:46, 1:46 to 1:47.
Jack was silently talking to his parents, asking them what they thought of Calum. Was it okay to crave after an older guy? What would they say? What did they do when Michael was battling insomnia? How can Jack be there for Calum?
Jack knows Michael tries his hardest but he will never be Jack's mother nor Jack's father. He will never fill the space that will forever remain empty.
Michael was silently asking his parents about Luke. Is he ready to get married? Is Luke the one? Is there such a thing as "the one"? He wanted to know if his parents were together still, he wanted to believe there was an afterlife. He wanted to believe that one day he would see his lovely parents once more.
He, too, was dealing with an empty spot in his heart that could not ever be filled.
Something made the two boy's look up from tearing the grass at their feet apart. They made eye contact, neither sure what to say.
"I know they're proud of you," Michael says. He doesn't know, but he'd like to believe so.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"I know they're proud of you, too."
Mike smiles. "I have a question for you since I can't ask them."
"Shoot for it."
"What do you think about me proposing to Luke? Do you think they'd approve?"
Jack shrugs, "I would like to believe so." He would like to believe a lot of things. "You would know better than me," Jack reminds him, "I was barely 4 when they passed."
"They were nice people," he reminisces.
"I know. They raised you."
Mike gives his brother a half smile. "How have you been, Jacko?"
The teenager rolls his eyes, having had enough of his brother's shit. "I've been okay."
"How's the sneaking out been going?"
Jack doesn't bother covering his tracks, "It's been going great, Michael."
"You don't need to sneak around, it's me."
"I know."
The clock ticks past 2 and Mike yawns. "I love you, Buddy."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, you and Luke are all I've got left."
