I'll remember him 2

Mall

*Liam's POV*

"Liam can you please tell me what's on your mind?" She asks. What do I have to tell her? The truth?
Louis needs to tell her, I'm not going to clean up his mess.
"Are you still mad with me because I mentioned Zayn?" Her voice sounds concerned. I don't want her to think I am upset with her. I'm not angry with her, I just hate it that Zayn didn't trust me and told me earlier, and Louis of course.

"No." I say, the word comes out much harsher than I had planned.
"Oh." Is the only thing she replies. I know she wants to ask what's on my mind but I see she's trying to keep herself from asking annoying questions that would make me angry, however I'm almost never mad with someone and especially not with her. She's trying to keep her big mouth shut.

"I'm not upset with you Kate, I love you, I'm just thinking about Zayn and what I have to do with him." I half lie.

"I already told you I think you should talk to him, he's your best friend."
I don't react, I haven't the energy to nod or speak.



*Zayn's POV*

I only slept for two hours this night. I was thinking about Kevin the whole time, about what he said to me.
"I love you Zayn."
The words keep repeating in my head. He didn't mean it right? I want to believe him, really. But I am afraid to get hurt, that he'll break my heart.

I need to go to go to the mall, to get some groceries. I grab my keys and take the stairs down. I decide to go on foot, it's not that far.


***

When I got all my groceries in my basket I go to the cash desk to pay. While I'm putting my stuff on the desk I hear my name. I look around but don't see anybody. I probably imagined. I'm getting paranoid.

"That's 20 dollars please." The young lady says and winks at me. She's flirting with me... I wish I could tell her, everybody I'm gay.
But I can't.
I smile politely back and take my stuff.

"Zayn wait!" A voice calls me, I'm not imagining now, it's real. I turn around to find Kevin standing a few feet away. I turn back and start walking away.
"Please!"
I stop, not turning around, looking at the grey floor of the mall. This isn't cleaned in months. I hear his footsteps getting louder, every step makes me even more nervous.

"Why are you ignoring me? I know you can get better than me but you kissed me and I thought you maybe had feelings for me."

The young lady behind the cash desk is staring at us, I can feel her eyes burning on my back.

"I don't know. I do have feelings for you but I'm afraid of not being good enough for you." I say quietly.

"Zayn, you are so much better than everybody else, I mean look at you! You are the hottest guy in the whole country, you're smart and funny and actually a great kisser. If someone needs to be insecure it's me."

His words fill my heart with a comfortable feeling but the nerves keep growing in my chest. I want him so desperately and his words make me feel like he wants me too. But something in my head tells me this is wrong.

"I love you Zayn, everything about you." My heart flutters. I don't know if you can be more in love than I al now with Kevin.

"I love you too." I say quietly. His hard lips seem to soften like ice that's smelting in the warmth of the sun.

"Why are you so afraid of showing your feelings?" He asks and we walk outside, all the eyes are burned on us and I don't want to talk to him when a public is watching us. I have the feeling they can boo every second.

That's why I don't show my feelings, I'm afraid of peoples reaction. I hate the fact I lost my best friend because of my fucking gay life. He doesn't understand and I don't blame him but I want him back, I miss him.
I never was in love with Liam, really never but I need him as a friend.
My heart is slowly breaking into pieces every day without him.
He was my sort of home, my family.
I don't have any family anymore so he's the only thing I have. Had.
He was like a concerned father, a loving mother, a trustful brother and a playful sister. I can't live without that home. I need him.
I broke the trust he had in me.
And his absence is breaking me.


"Zayn can you please talk to me? "
I stay silent and look at him, his friendly eyes look desperate but he gives me a small smile.
I try to smile back and he hugs me.
"Are we... Together now?" He asks.
Are we? I can't bring out a word so I just nod. It's not the right time to nod but I'm not feeling like talking.
His lips kiss my cheek, an unknown warmth fills my body.

"I've been waiting for this time to come around." (Lyrics soml!)
He quietly says, not meant for me to hear so I pretend I didn't. But I did and it makes me feel wonderful.


*Kate's POV*

When I come back from the bathroom Liam got changed. We still didn't talk since he woke up, well the only thing he said was 'no' and I don't see that like talking.

I take my purse and put my cell phone into it. I take a look in the mirror for a last time and take my shoes in my hands, I don't want to walk in them in the house, I know they do it but my mother can't stand it and I don't want to make the floor dirty.

"Where are you going?" His voice sounds like I didn't hear it for months.
"Visiting the twins." I say.
"Oh." I hoped he wanted to come with me to protect me against my mother again when she starts screaming cause I'm too tired to fight with her. But Liam isn't in a normal mood so he just keeps staring out of the window without coming with me like I hoped.

I close the door behind me. When I reach the stairs I hear Liam opening the door of his bedroom but instead of coming after me he walks to the bathroom.


( this isn't a very long chapter I'm sorry, I'll try to make them longer but today I don't feel like writing so here it is. Thanks you so much for reading it's amazing! :) 🍉 🍉 love you all, I really do! X x x )