I'll remember him 2

Beat

*Zayn's POV*

"It's nice to finally meet you." William sits down on his stool and hands me a beer.

"So.." He trails off. "Tell me about your relationship." He says and brings the bottle to his lips.

"Uhm we.. We didn't have a real relationship actually. He said he loved me, I loved him too, we didn't date very often and I always had the feeling I missed something." I blurt out. Talking to William feels so comfortable, he's so easy going.

"Almost the same here. He told me he loved me and I felt like something was missing. But we did date often."

William's staring at the wall behind the bar.

"Do you.. Do you mind it a lot?"

"How do you mean?" I ask.

"Are you hurt? That he did this to you?" He asks without any emotion.

"Well, surprisingly no." I say.

He nods and takes another sip.

"And you? Are you hurt?"

"First I was but now I realize that someone like him isn't worth my tears." He says and looks at me for the first time we arrived in this shitty bar which I promised myself never to enter again in my life. But William almost dragged me inside.

I nod in agreement, actually the only thing I felt was anger but it's too exhausting to sit in a couch daily with a bag of chips on my lap, fatting myself like a hopeless girl.

The past days I only ate. I ate and slept. I did nothing but just stay alive. Only because I felt like I had to, not that I wanted to. I was empty and just.. I didn't see the point of me staying alive. Nobody would miss me after all.

"I moved on." He says and again I nod like a fool who's parents didn't teach him how to speak. I didn't realize I never actually loved Kevin until this very moment. I really didn't. I was blinded by his white teeth and perfect quiff, his muscled arms and the deep color of his eyes that always held that little bit of mystery I wanted to definite. But now I think of it, I didn't want to know what he was hiding behind his smile, I didn't want to know the meaning of his words or mystery calls. Actually, I didn't want to know the real him. I just wanted to believe he was who I held him for.

"You'll find someone better than him, someone who deserves your smiles and tears and hugs." William says and his black hand strikes my back what gives me goosebumps. I smile and I look into his dark, dark brow eyes surrounded by white. "You too."

If I ever knew my life would end up like this, I would have ended it a long time ago. If I knew I would be sitting in a bar with a nigger who I sheared a boyfriend with I wouldn't have ever left the house and bought my own apartment or car. I would have gone back to my homeland with my parents. And none of this would have been happened.

"I should be going." I say and William gives me a surprised look and a glance at the clock. It's almost two and he nods. "Drive carefully." He says. "It's pretty dark outside."

I nod again, really Zayn? Really?

He gives me a weak smile and I slowly walk to the door, ignoring the eyes who're burned on my back.

Will they never get used to a gay?

I try to find my car keys in the light of the street when I hear the door opening and closing again.

"I-I was just uhm.. I'm leaving too." William says.

Ah, there it is. I nod again.

"It was uhm, really nice to meet you." He repeats what he said fifteen minutes ago.