I'll remember him 2

I love you

*Kate's POV*

Liam is gone for almost ten minutes now. I know he's or eating his frustrations away or talking to Niall or his sister. I lay down on Liam's bed that I begin to feel like mine as well, thinking about my life. I'm only seventeen years old, I can't remember anything of my past because my boyfriend's father hit me with his car before hitting a tree and die. I'm living at my boyfriends house because my mother is angry with me, the mother who has twin baby's after two children of 17 and 20. My brother lied to us about is whole life and lives with his girlfriend in an apartment. Suddenly there's a stranger on the street who changes my life again after I grabbed it back together. An ugly bitch who destroys everything I builded back up. A stranger who would do anything to get the only thing I've left. Liam.
My life is a mess.

I need to calm down, stop thinking about what a fucked-up I actually am. Liam still isn't back and he's already gone for more than fifteen minutes now. To pass time I'll read in the diary I got from Bella, my diary.
Well, the diary of the person I was before the 23th of June. Of the person I can't remember. Of a stranger. The only thing we have in common is our name.
"Anyway..." I say to myself and grab the book from under the bed, I don't want Liam to read it.


16th of April 2009

When Liam and I will ever be separated for a reticular reason, I'll try to let him leave not let him go. Because distance is a test to see how far love can travel. When the love is strong enough you can keep the relationship going and some day you will be back together. But if you can't let him leave or if you let him go you'll never be together again.


My finger softly runs over the handwritten letters. How? How could I write something like this when I didn't know Liam would move? I turn the page.


The 20th of April 2009

Some people say they don't need love. Others say they don't get enough. I think we only accept the love we think we deserve.
When people say they don't need love they think they actually don't deserve it, they're scared to lose something that isn't even theirs.
People who say they don't get enough love, those people think they deserve more love then they get. They think they're underrated.
I think I get just enough love, the love I deserve. Sometimes I ask myself why... Why do I deserve someone like him?


The 22th of April 2009

Today I learned something: don't try to live without someone you can't spend a day not thinking about because you can't. Don't try to forget your first kiss cause that's impossible. Not that I want to cause my first kiss was perfect.




*Liam's POV*

"And what am I supposed to do now?" I ask Astrid. She gets her shoulders up and we both take a deep breath. What do I have to say to her? Pretend like nothing happened? "I'm going to get some sleep." She says.
Great.

I decide to pretend nothing happened. I take the stairs and turn the knob of my bedroom door without knocking. I don't have to, it's still my bedroom. Right?
Kate is laying on her stomach on my bed. On her pillow there's a small brown book. She's so concentrated she didn't even heard me coming in.

"What are you reading?" I ask her. She jumps up and holds the book behind her back.

"Kate.. I saw it. What are you reading?" Her blond hair is laying in her natural waves, draped over her shoulders. She's wearing no make up, the way I like her so damn much.

"Just nothing. Let it go." She says on a nervous tone and one hand puts a string of her blond hair behind her ear. The other still behind her back holding the mysterious book.

"Okay." I give in and lay myself down on the bed. I burry my face into my pillow, I can literally feel Kate smiling to me and I follow her movements with my ears. She puts the book away into the closet, she's hiding it for me. A part of me wants to know what she's reading, just to know what keeps her mind busy. And especially I'm curious what she's hiding for me. I sound like a girl now.
But another part of me wants to give her her privacy and if it's so important to her I don't know it... Maybe it's better that I don't know what's in the book.

I feel a soft small hand tracing the skin under my shirt. "I'm sorry I asked so much about Lola, if you don't want to talk about her I get it"

"No you don't get it. You will end just like her in the hospital. But I try to protect you by not telling you who she is." I want to say but there's no sound. I can't find my voice.

"If you were dating her you can tell me." Oh no. Kate thinks I dated Lola. Even though she knows I only dated her in my intier life. Nobody else but her. Like I promised.

I lift my head up from the pillow and turn to my back. Her beautiful face is now right above mine. She's sitting on her knees next to my body, her small fingers resting on my chest.

"You know I only loved you and I always will." I say. I lift my hand up to strike her cheek. She takes my hand into hers and presses it against her soft face. Our hands softly go down to her neck. I can feel the pulse of her heart through her thin skin.

She gives me a weak smile when I trace with my finger the golden necklace I gave her. around her neck.

'Forever'

I hope so. One day I'll marry this girl. I knew I would marry her before we fell in love. I knew she's the one since elementary school.

"Goodnight Katie." I say and kiss her forehead. The warm breath touches my skin when she comes down to kiss my lips. The smell of roses comes to me.

"I love you do much." She whispers against my lips. Her skinny body resting against mine.



*Astrid's POV*

I'm staring at myself into the mirror, toothbrush in my hand, thinking about my day. I kissed my friend. I have a boyfriend. I kissed my friend.
I cheated on Jake. I cheated on Jake and I didn't even think about it. I cheated on Jake and it didn't feel wrong. Until now.

I know I should be calling Jake to ask him how it was with his mother. How Matt is and how he is. But I can't just act like nothing happened. Jake would hear in my tone there's something wrong, and me, the good kid, would be telling the truth and break his heart.

I can't hear his voice right now, I would burst into tears and he would come over just to see me, hold me, kiss me and it would remind me of Harry's kiss and I would cry even harder. He would kiss me even softer and I would sink even deeper.

This cheating thing is killing me.

Come on Astrid, grab yourself together. I need to get over this. It was just a kiss, it didn't mean anything. I don't feel anything for Harry, only friendship. I have Jake,
he's so good to me. I really love Jake, on such a short time so much.

It was just a kiss, it didn't mean anything. I repeat to convince myself.

But deep down I know I'm lying.




( Hey people! Good luck with the exams everyone. I want to say how much I love you once again.
Comment and vote please? 😙 )