CIMORELLI : All Powered Up

TWENTY NINE :

It was about time I had gotten out of the house by myself. Bee kindly lent me one of her bicycles and I ventured outside her property and into the subdivision grounds.

We finished filming for our cover about two hours ago, and the sun was starting to set, a mild breeze blowing past as I cycled down the streets of Hillsborough.

I was happy to find a deserted park with a swing set during my journey, so I set the bike down and made a run for the swing. The wooden plank I sat on somewhat warm from the sunlight. As I swung myself up and down, I lost myself within my thoughts.

The trees next to me rustled along with the wind, blowing little white blossoms down onto my hair. I took one and placed it in my palm. A faint fragrance wafted out, perfuming my hand.

As our holiday started to come to an end, I took my time to appreciate my surroundings and my time spent in this beautiful country. Memories of our concert for the Renegade girls flooded my mind, I saw every smiling face, felt every warm hug and heard every song they sang along to.

I couldn't believe that this was my life. Looking up at the cloudless, orange-y red sky, I thanked God for it, for my sisters, for our talent and passion. I couldn't imagine it any different. I also thanked God for my friends, old and new.

"Penny for your thoughts?" A voice suddenly said from behind.

I stopped swinging and turned, looking at the person, having a little trouble because they stood against the light. But as my eyes adjusted,

"Bee, it's you.." I said, "Why are you following me you stalker?" I joked,

"Hah," She scoffed, "Don't flatter yourself, I'm only passing by..I was just gonna get some paint from the store and then I saw you looking all emo. Everything okay?" she said, asking me.

I looked at Bee, and couldn't help but notice that she lost a little weight since we first met her.

"With me, yeah. I just needed to get out a little.. You on the other hand might need some beef jerky.." I told her, and she looked at me real confused. "You're losing tone man, you gotta bulk up." intending it as a joke, I wasn't expecting Bee to react the way that she did.

Her smile fell, and eyes got a wide, worried look to them. She did recover in a split second, but not fast enough for me not to notice, I hastily spat out a barrage of apologies.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean--" she cut me off,

"No, no, it's cool. It's true, hahaha!" She said, looking at her lanky arms, "I might have to work out a bit more." Still looking a little sad.

I nodded silently, "Do you miss them?" I asked all of a sudden.

"Do I miss who?" she asked sitting down on the swing next to mine.

"Your parents..."

Bee thought for a bit, "Yeah, of course.. everyday at different parts and different degrees. Why do you ask?"

I shifted in my seat, "Well I couldn't help but notice that you sorta live alone.. I mean, I know that you've got Angel, and sometimes Tony and the home staff, and the Renegade girls, but you've got a huge house! and you're all alone... like, Luca doesn't even live in the same city as you!" I ended quite bluntly.

Bee laughed a little, "You notice a lot of things, don't you?" she asked me.

"I've been accused more than once of being quote unquote, nosy." I told her.

"You're not wrong, I mean, I AM alone, but I'm far from lonely. I miss having my parents around, especially when I see your mom and dad with you guys. But it's nothing to be sad about.. I'm just given the chance to be happy for someone else, if not myself." she said.

I thought deeply about what she said for a bit, my own deep mind appreciating a fellow thinker.

"In any case," I started to say, "You have friends in my sisters and I. We may not be the most functional group of people, but we'll be here for you if you need us." I ended, really meaning it.

"I appreciate that Lauren, I really do.." Bee said, equally sincere. "You know you and I have a lot in common.." she told me.

"Oh yeah? I've got buttloads of money too? Where?! I need that bank card STAT!" I said, looking from left to right.

Bee rolled her eyes, "Hahaa, very funny. I mean, you're pretty chill on the surface level, but peel back some of those layers and you're pretty crazy!"

I chuckled, " I guess so.. am I supposed to assume that I might end up like you someday? Since you are EONS older?"

"HEY, FOUR FREAKING YEARS is not eons you moldy piece of meatloaf!" She exclaimed, laughing anyway.

I breathed out, "Bee, if I end up like, even ten percent of what your are, I'd be so happy. I know that this band isn't going to last forever, and I shouldn't really rely on my sisters for getting my own life after all this. But I can't help but feel a little confused sometimes you know? I'm eighteen now, and I really have no vision of what I want to become. I wanna be a good person, I want to help people, just like you.." I paused, looking at Bee who was listening intently.

"Sometimes I get this feeling that I'm supposed to be doing something important. And I sorta do that already, with the band and all. And I love it. I really do. But what comes after that? How do I go about living? " I asked, feeling a little ache in my stomach.

"Those are some pretty heavy thoughts for an eighteen year old, " Bee remarked, "Are you sure you aren't seventy?"

That relieved me a little, "Hahaha, I honestly think I'm an old woman in a young girl's body.."

"Listen, Laur... you're young. You have your whole life ahead of you, all the answers to your questions are still just seeds already planted in your brain. You gotta have faith that you already have what it takes to conquer your life. You just gotta give 'em a chance to grow and to bear fruit. Take your time, mate.. try not to worry about the future too much, because then your present will be filled with nothing but anxieties for the tomorrows that never come." Bee said, I stared at her, taking in words I had told myself but never listened to.

"I KNOW. I know, " I sighed, "I just needed to hear it come from someone else, and talking to you is surprisingly easy.."

"That's pretty wise of you.." Bee observed. "And I am, quite a delight."

"Yeah, and humble too.." I told her, squinting playfully.

"Hahaha! Admit it, we're freaking cool." She said.

"The coolest kids." I concurred.

"Gahd, we're such nerds." Bee exhaled into the breeze, shaking her head.

I looked out towards the setting sun, and smiled, "Totally."

***********************************

A/N

a little Lauren+Bee moment. I thought that Lauren needed a bit more of the spotlight :)

this goes for anyone and everyone feeling lost and confused about life. Know that you have all you need to succeed. just have faith. and be patient.you'll get there.

b