CIMORELLI : All Powered Up

FORTY THREE : Healing

We all decided to go to church today. It was the day after our Ireland show and before packing up to leave for Scotland, Kath suggested that we attend mass for Bee.

"I don't understand why we can't go to her funeral!" Nick argued with Mom in the van on the way to church.

"Nick, we told you, we can't just drop our tour dates. " Christina reiterated.

"I know how you feel, buddy. I'm sorry." I said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Really, Dani? Do you?" He said in low tones. It broke my heart to see him like this. I looked to Lauren for support, but she was just as broken as I was.

"Nick, I--" I tried to say, but he shrugged my hand off and looked out the window.

The rest of the journey was pretty quiet. I could hear occasional whispers coming from Kath, I looked at her, her rosary in her hand, her mouth moving to the words of the prayers.

When we got to church, each of us quietly sat down and waited for the mass to start. It didn't take long, after everyone got settled, the church bells rang and the mass started.

As I sang the entrance hymn, I noticed that the priest was fairly young. Maybe Big Nick's age almost. I was a bit surprised, because I was used to white-haired, sometimes wrinkly priests and not someone I'd normally see at a Walmart or something.

He had a melodic voice. He sang each verse with clear, tenor notes and exuded such faith in the words he spoke, inspiring everyone in the church to sing along with him.

As Communion came, I silently took the circular, dry piece of bread in my mouth and prayed. I prayed for Bee, I prayed for her friends and family, I prayed for my own family, and asked for peace. For good measure, I prayed for Little Nick too.

And before I knew it, mass was over. As always, I felt good. Considering the circumstances, church gave me a sense of stability and hope.

Everyone was hungry, so we went out for lunch together right in the city. We were noticeably more subdued today. So I decided to liven up the situation.

"I really like your outfit today, Kath." I said, complimenting my sister who was sat across from me.

She looked up at me and smiled, "Oh thanks, Dan.. actually, Lauren helped me pick this out.."

I feigned offense, " whaat? You asked LAUREN for fashion advice instead of meeeee?" I wailed, trying hard not to laugh.

"Ahahaha!" Kath laughed, it was good to see the sadness leave her eyes in that moment.

"Heyy!" Lauren yelled from the other side of the table, "Don't you knock my fashion prowess, you wench!"

"I TOTALLY have better style than you!" I protested.

Lauren gave me her signature dead chicken look, were her head hung from one side and her eyes bore into your soul, and she said, "You are LITERALLY wearing my dress right now."

"Ohmigosh, you are!" Kath observed, looking at me.

I froze, looking down at this lacey, deep blue tank dress and muttered, "Oh. Soz." completely forgetting that i hijacked Lauren's suitcase for something to wear this morning.

"Where'd that dress come from anyway? It's really pretty." Kath asked, taking a sip of water.

Before I answered, I caught myself giving Lauren a glance, she also had an awkward look on her face.

"Actually, it's uh," I faltered, "It's from Amoroa.. Bee gave us a few samples to take on tour."

Kath's expression changed, but it wasn't a complete, all consuming sadness, there was a distinct longing in her face as her eyes panned up towards the sky.

Thankfully, the waiters arrived with our food, so I gratefully allowed myself to get distracted by the plates being placed in front of us instead of consoling my sister.

A few entrees later, the conversation seemed pretty normal, we were all very excited for the next leg of our European tour and so everyone was talking about their expectations and what not.

"If I gave you a hundred dollars, would you eat a haggis?" I heard Christian ask Amy. I looked over to see what she'd say.

Amy finished chewing her bite of potato and said, "Who or what is a haggis?"

"DON'T TELL HER OHMIGOSH!" Lisa exclaimed, cackling away, "Please let me be there when she eats it! Aaah!"

"Oh nooo! Now I'm scared!" Amy cried, covering her mouth.

Everyone laughed, I looked at Kath, and my smile faltered, she wasn't paying attention at all. Her eyes were fixed on her untouched plate of food which, now that I properly looked, she only pushed around with her fork.

It took me a few seconds to process what I saw, because I had never seen Kath this down before. Not even when our grandma died, we were all sad, but we were also happily talking about the wonderful life our grandma led.

This Katherine however, had no ounce of hope at all. I felt a pang in my chest, feeling sorry for my sister.
I guess she could feel me watching her, so she abruptly excused herself from the table, making her way to the bathroom.

I looked at the rest of my family, they were talking, laughing even, joking with each other, our normal volume of ten thousand finally restoring itself, turning everyone in a ten mile radius deaf. I occasionally heard one of them going into past stories of their adventures with Bee, about the beach trip and the mishaps, just being happy in general.

I could feel them moving on, despite Nick's outburst earlier today, like myself, I feel like the church trip was very healing for them in a way that Bee's death had become a closing wound in our hearts, and after a few days, we could talk about it without crying.

But Kath, Kath was a different story.

I stood up, and excused myself to go to the bathroom too, not knowing how to help Kath, but focusing all my intentions on doing so.

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A/N

i think imma round this story out to an even forty five :) so last 2 chapters to go!

thank you for all your support. i hope y'all stick around for my new stories which I have been so excitedly planning.

xx

b