My Hero

Chapter 43

"Phoenix!"

I grunt, rolling over on the floor of my room towards the door. The door swings open and in walks Emily, smiling from ear to ear.

"You're going to a ball! Get up!" My heart sped up.

A ball?

For who? Was Nico inviting me? Was it for someone's work?

"It's for my work honey! Come on, we're going shopping." I got up and slid on my sandals and followed her to the car without saying goodbye to my boyfriend. I pouted slightly, getting into the car and buckling up.

"Your dress is going to be a surprise for everyone but me, that's why Nico can't come." I nod my head as she told the driver where to go and he did as he was told.

"So is this like an award ceremony or what?" She nodded.

"Yes! Every year we have a work ball and awards are passed out, promotions given yada yada." She waved her hand as the driver pulled up to the store. It didn't look like a place where you sell dresses for a ball, it looked like you'd sell drugs here! But I trust Emily.

She got out and walked into the store, dragging me with her. She said hello to the woman at the counter and walked straight to a rack that caught her attention.

I looked around, standing in place and then it caught me.

A gorgeous gown. It was real on top then dropped at the waist into a black skirt to the floor. I picked up the only dress that caught my attention and searched for Emily who already two giant piles of dresses in her arms.

I guess she knew better. She threw her dresses on top of my pick and led me to the room.

"Try them on." She ordered.

"Bug?" I knocked on Nico's door and opened it slowly. He was laying on his bed and turned his head when he heard the door open. His face grew bright when he saw me enter his room. He launched off his bed and ran at me, gathering me in his arms.

"PHOENIX!" He kissed me. "Where have you been all day? I missed you." He whimpered. I laughed and placed my hands at his waist, kissing him gently.

"I went dress shopping with your mom. I'm going to the ball?" I said, not knowing exactly what it was.

"Oh you're going to that?" He let go and fell onto his bed.

"Yes, your mother invited me." I said, hinting that he didn't invite me. He rolled his eyes, sighing.

"Phe," He drew out my name. "Would like to go with me to this damn ball?" He sat up and batted his eyelashes at me.

"I would love to." I grinned, walking over and sitting on his lap, kissing his lips gently. He placed his hands right in between where my butt and the small of my back are. We kissed each other hungrily.

"You know how much I love you?" He asked me, pulling away and resting his forehead against mine.

My heart fluttered.

Something didn't seem right.

"Yes I do." I answered quietly. His eyebrows furrowed slightly but he let it go.

"I'm gonna head to bed Nico," I told him, getting up and going to leave, but getting pulled back towards him.

"Did something just happen?" He asked me, looking very worried. I looked away.

"Of course not bug. Just tired." I told him. His grip tightened slightly on my biceps.

"Ok baby goodnight then." He kissed my lips and then gently kissed my cheek. I gave him a small smile before leaving the room and shutting myself in mine. I leaned up against the door and took a couple deep breaths.

I can't do this to him.

I can't push him away.

Not like the others.

But I really can't help what's happening. I don't want to push him away, but I can't help what I'm feeling. I love Nico. A lot. I needed to talk to somebody and quick. I didn't want to ruin something great that I had.

    "Austin?" I asked into the phone. I heard him sigh in relief.

"Phoenix! Finally!" I took in a shaky breath.

"Austin? I need you." I took another shaky breath. "Its happening again. I'm pulling away." He sighed.

"Do you love him?"

"Yes."

"Do you care about him?"

"Yes."

"Would it hurt you if anything happened to him?"

"It would kill me." I replied.

"Then tell him," He told me. "Tell him that you're pulling away, and I know he'll do anything in his power to fix whatever he can. He loves you Phoenix, I know it. I can see it. The way he looks at you, I know that he would die for you. So just tell him baby and I know he'll do whatever he can to keep you around." I nodded.

"Did I ever tell you how much I love you Austin?" He chuckled.

"Go love on your boyfriend more." He told me. I laughed and said my goodbyes.

Its been a couple days since Nico and I have spoken to each other. Almost like I'm avoiding him.

I was currently in Nico's special room. Thinking. Everything was off and I was just sitting on the bean bag with my head against my knees. There was a click in the room and then the door shut.

"Are you avoiding me?" 

"Yes." I told him honestly. I heard him sigh.

"Why?"

"It doesn't feel right."

"What?"

"I'm being honest with you. That's what we said right, to tell each other the truth. I want to be honest with you so that you can help me. I need help. I need you to help me baby." I told him, feeling the tears coming.