Thoughts...

Friendships

I ruin so any good friendships by catching feelings.
If you were to show any interest in me I would freak out and think you were flirty. When I am thinking about that I think about the good times and those times remind me of how awesome you are and how maybe we could be something more.
I feel obligated to tell you the truth that I have feelings and I tell you before I never see you again so then when you reject me I won't be here to watch you give pity to me.
After I tell them things are awkward and distant for them not feeling the same way. Things will NEVER go back to normal no matter how much you try because they still are very cautious around you to not lead you on. They might have thought that you being close was just how you treated all your friends and it didn't mean anything but once you tell them they now know that everything you do or say to them has meaning whether you like it or not.
I always feel like the next crush is different and they might actually like me back and I get so much hope and tell them soon to realize that they don't and just want to be friends. I am just use to the rejection by now.