Thoughts...

Birthday

I hope for every birthday that I would have one friend that would tell the teacher that it's my birthday so that the whole class would sing to me...
So far that's never happened.
I'll just wait until next year... again.

For some reason this is the only reason I want to go to school on my birthday cause it shows who cares to remember and do other things special. I just want to feel special. Out of 365 days... 1 day is dedicated to me. It's my day to not care about other people. My birthday is so special cause it makes me original or unique because it's MY birthday. I know other people share the same birthday but besides that... I want the people that I care and love about to remember and think of me. The one day they need to. All the other days I can think about you but this one and only day I think only about myself. Is that so much to ask? I want to feel special.

I want to wake up to all the people I love around my bed with a cake in their hands... waiting for me to wake up.
I want to come home to a surprise party with all my friends and family... party all night.
I want to feel special.
I want to take pictures with all my friends and have them save them in their memories or scrapbooks... I get all gawld up for it anyways.
So far... none of these have happened...
The one time I want to be singled out.
The one time I want to be the center of attention.
The one time I think only about myself.
The one time...

I did have some highlights from today...
I got some thoughtful texts...
I got m&ms and a Hershey's bar... even though I really don't like that chocolate... but it's the thought that counts.
I had some good times...
My mom make all my favourites... like pink lemonade, chicken and rice, broccoli, and her signature homemade bread.

I am 14 now.
I am getting old.
I want to live.
I want to feel special.
This only one day...
January 26, 2003.