Thoughts...

I am an outsider!

You just see right before your eyes everyone forget about you...
Leave you...
Hate you...
What do you do?
Hate yourself...
Hate them...
Hate the world...
Hate everyone...
Block them out of your life?
Start to question everything...
Why did I vanish in front of their eyes...
Am I none existent...
What have I done?
All these people that I once knew...
Gone...
Left...
Forgot...
Don't care...
Hate...
Me.
For what?
I go on my own because I think I am being strong when really I am just hurting myself which is making me weak.
I cry from all the loss in friends and how they have grown to hate.
Feed up with all my bullshit...
Feed up with me fucking up...
Feed up with me...
I was there for them...
I was there for other people...
I can't help everyone...
Someone gets left out...
Feel unloved...
Feel forgotten...
I can't help you all...
I can't cause once I start helping another...
Another loses me...
I just drifted away...
I am the one that's gone...
I am the one that has forgotten...
I am the one that hates...
I should stop trying to be the victim here...
I am the god damn enemy...
I don't deserve people...
I want to be alone...
But I know it's hurting me...
But it's better for everyone else...
If I was just gone out of their life's right...
They have videos...
Photos...
Memories...
Of other people happy...
Without me.
Would they care?
Probably not.
I am just cut out...
I am an outsider...
Not just cause I choose to...
But others do.

I'm a goner...
Somebody catch my breath...
But nobody's there.
There gone...
More like you left.
You forgot.
Your the problem.
Leave.
Gone.