Thoughts...

Unimportant

Do you ever just feel like you'll never be the best and someone proves that to you by telling you, you can't do that because your not as good as the great one.
You work your ass off trying to at least be equal to this person because you know you will never be better than them. Then when you finally feel like all your hard work has finally paid off and you feel equal to this person someone comes in a fucks it up. They tell you, you can't do that because your only good for one thing and you hate that thing and the only reason you did that thing was just to help out the rest of them now that's what you are known for. Meanwhile the great one is doing whatever the fuck they want because they have no limitations and they are known to be the best at everything. She can even do the thing that you hate but you think that your better at that then her and then you take a test to prove who's better and guess who won? Her! She's even beating you at your own game and you knew for a fact that she fucking bombed the test and did awful but guess who got a fucking higher score. Her!

Now you think that would only be for those people but then you soon realize your friends think the same thing. They compare people to me and see if I am worthy to know what's going in there life and they usually don't tell me, why? Idk because I am always fucking there for them but they never tell me what is going on and when I am hurt or sad they don't even care to ask. One person did ask and I didnt say because I want that person to annoy me with ask because that would show that they fucking care enough to keep on asking me the same fucking question and guess what I usually tell them after that but why should I feel save with telling them my feelings or thoughts if they can't even tell me there's. It's unfair and wrong because if someone is hurt or feeling sad you should help them and they need to talk. They want to talk but they don't know to who yet because they put up a protective guard to not say the wrong things and they might be made fun off if they tell the wrong people and you don't want to be the laughing stalk and be called crybaby because you cried at school once.

All I am trying to say is that I feel unimportant to people that I think should care and if you have a friend like that please comfort them.

Thanks for reading. I really need to get this out of my system or I was about to go belistic on someone.