Outing Larry

Chapter 46 (Part 4)

A/N THE FINAL PART OF CHAPTER 46. HOPE YOU LIKE IT. LOVE YOU ALL HEAPS.

Louis stood frozen staring at the closed door that had just separated him from his Harry. Harry had just walked away from him without a second glance back in his direction and Harry had left him to go and spend the next two months with his new man. Louis sank to his knees and looked at the door as if expecting it to open again and Harry would just walk back in and take him into his arms and tell him that he loved him and wanted only him but Louis knew that the harsh reality was that Harry had walked out of his life.

Suddenly Louis remembered a song that he had been writing for Harry about their break up and how he couldn't come up with the chorus to it and now, in this brief moment of clarity when he realized that Harry was no longer his, the chorus came to life in his head:

Oh,why you wearing that to walk out of my life?

Oh,even though it's over you should stay tonight

If tomorrow you won't be mine
Won't you give it to me one last time?
Oh,baby, let me love you goodbye

It echoed in his head over and over again. He shut his eyes and placed both his hands over his ears to try and drown out those words that stabbed at him mercilessly. He had lost him! Harry had had enough and he finally found someone who cared for him and treated him the way he should be treated, someone who put him first. Images flashed behind Louis' closed eyes. Images of Harry and of Jeff, together, laughing and having fun, of a happy relaxed Harry, images of Jeff undressing Harry slowly to savor that beautiful pale, tattooed skin that belonged to him but that now Harry had allowed Jeff to touch and make his own. He imagined Harry's face screwed up in pleasure as he orgasmed, a face only ever he had gotten to see because only he had ever made Harry feel that way but now Jeff would get to see that beautiful face and hear the soft beautiful sounds Harry made as he came because Harry allowed him to pleasure him.

Louis'eyes flew open and the tears rushed out of his eyes. He wrapped his arms around his mid-section and he rocked back and forth on his knees.

'No no no no no no no,' he whimpered to himself. 'Harry no no no please no. Don't let this happen. Don't let him. Don't let him.' Louis bent over double feeling sick at the thoughts in his head and the images his mind kept playing up. He knew it was all his fault but deep down he had never once thought that Harry would allow anyone else as close to him as he had been. Deep down he thought that Harry would not move past him on to someone else so this new version of Harry did not sit well with Louis.

He got up suddenly and rushed into the en suite bathroom in Harry's bedroom. He bent over the toilet and heaved. Nothing much came out of his stomach but his stomach kept contracting and Louis kept heaving his dryness into the toilet, making his throat burn. When his stomach finally decided that there was totally nothing else to bring up, the contractions stopped and Louis stood up and flushed the toilet. He walked over to the sink and his reflection stared back at him. His fringe stuck to his sweaty forehead, his eyes were red rimmed and he looked haggard and sad. He looked pitiful and he hated the man staring back at him with vacant eyes. He hated the man that had broken the love of his life and drove him into the arms of another man.

Louis opened the tap and splashed cold water on his face and into his mouth, washing out the foul taste in his mouth. He pushed back the fringe off of his face and took in a few deep breaths but nothing helped to ease the pain in his chest. He walked out into Harry's bedroom and sat down on the carpeted floor, his back against the bed and looked out the open balcony doors. The smell of Harry's cologne lingered in the room, the same room where Harry had just hit him with an ugly, hurtful truth. Harry now belonged to someone else. Their fairytale was now over and doomed. Louis felt tired. Not the kind of tired that demanded sleep but the kind of tired that his soul demanded release.