Pizza Boy ★ joshler {completed}

Chapter 17- the betrayal Pt. 2

When the pic above is of Tyler in the last chapter oops

Warning: mention of self harm I think again idk ur triggers but everything triggers me so

I lock my door the second I get in my apartment, knowing Brendon is still behind me.

I run to my bathroom and just lay against the corner. Full of regret. Of everything. Of meeting Josh. Of asking him out. Everytime I kissed him. Everytime I said anything nice to him. Everything. I regret everything.

"Tyler let me in right fucking now and tell me what the fuck happened? Did he do something to you? Did he hurt you? I swear to god I will fuck him up! Just let me in!" I hear Brendon pounding on the door.

I stay in my bathroom crying, crying so hard I go numb.

I was in love with Josh.

And he betrayed me. I know Debby clearly kissed him first but he kissed back. I love you are only words he said to me but in the past I'm sure they were also said to Debby.

I barely crawl over to my sink and look in the cabinet below it. A shiny object runs over my eye and I grab it. The razor is rusty and when I touch it the memories come back from months before.

I hear Brendon struggling against the door. Pounding and loud thuds getting louder each time I hear them. Hovering over my wrist, I hear one last thud and a big crash following.

Brendon runs towards the bathroom, and looks at me.

"Tyler!" I hear come out of his mouth before he jumps on me grabbing my arms till the once shiny object had fallen out of my hand. "What the fuck were you thinking?!"

I sob. My head falls into Brendon's chest, "I don't know?! What's the point anymore?! I loved him!"

"Tell me what happened!" Brendon yells.

"I-I walked in and I-I s-saw Debby on his bed and she was k-kissing him! A-and," I hyperventilate, "h-he k-kissed her back a l-little, t-then I-I r-ran out." I say stuttering each word feeling my heart pumping.

Tears fell down Brendon's cheek. "Oh honey." He pulls me in for a hug that lasts about five minutes. "It'll be alright."

"Alright? Alright? No it will not be alright Brendon I have never loved anyone like I have loved him before and the feeling of betrayal lingers in the air still! It won't be alright I was in love with him and nothing can ever-" then I was interrupted by the sweet feeling of Brendon's soft lips against mine. Something about it felt right the thrill of it, I start kissing him back and he shifts his lips ever so slightly. He crawls on top of me straddling me, hands cupping my cheeks. He slipped his tongue in my devilish mouth as did I. Everything felt so slow yet so fast until I realize-

"Wait Brendon stop!" I push him off me.

"I-I'm sorry, i-i-i-"

"Just don't just fucking don't." I cry rubbing my hands over my eyes, "I just- just get out! Just stop playing with my emotions!" I scream.

"I'm playing with your emotions?! I'm playing with your emotions? Finally you fucking realize I fucking love you! Jesus Christ it only took you how many years! I figured you could tell, then you go and get yourself a boyfriend who I'm clearly jealous of and not only I kiss you but you kiss me back and you tell me I'm playing with your fucking emotions! God! I don't even know who I am to you anymore, but clearly I'm not your friend!" Brendon yells.

"I-I bu- brend- b-b-b, I just I-" I stumble.

"No just can't I just- fuck!" Brendon throws his arms around and walks out.

I cry on my bathroom floor for what seems like hours, I cry myself to sleep unsure of what to do or where to even go.

***

I wake up.

I'm still on my bathroom floor, 2:13 pm is on my clock. I open my phone to find 9 missed calls from Brendon, 2 from Melanie, and 19 from Josh, along with 6 voicemails from Josh.

Voicemail #1:

Tyler it's Josh please answer i-i just don't hurt yourself, please just be okay just answer I love you so much I can explain.

Voicemail #2:

Tyler just we were talking and then I said I'm glad you stayed and fuck then she just kissed me the second you walked in

Voicemail #3:

Tyler please forgive me I need to see you, I love you so fucking much you don't even understand how much I love you, I would do anything for you

Voicemail #4:

Tyler please answer I love you I want you to be okay just don't hurt yourself just please I need to see you I can't go this long without you. I need to see you

Voicemail #5:

Tyler Robert Joseph I am head over heels in love with you, I can't, I just- stay with Brendon and just make sure he keeps you safe I- he's not returning my calls and please I love you just be okay just please

Voicemail #6:

I love you please I love you so much just...stay alive.

Tears have been constantly falling down my cheek, and I want to see him...but I don't want to see his face.

I don't know who to call or what to do. I just don't know.

I walk out the door still in the same clothes as yesterday and the day before that. Heading God knows where.

***