Pizza Boy ★ joshler {completed}

Chapter 25- dreams

Tylers POV

The dreams. They aren't stopping.

I just see Alex straddling josh making out with him, Alex doesn't have a face. Yet josh's is more beautiful than ever.

Alex just has a blank space of a face with blank lips all over Josh's full face.

Alex looks at me and gives me the dirtiest look you can imagine for someone without a face.

I can't breathe any longer and I don't want to. I don't want anything more to do with josh or I'll just fall right in love with him again. Then the voices yell at me once again 'when did you ever fall out of love with him anyway?' 

I jut ignore them and sometimes I just pray that I could rip out my own head since it's the most dangerous thing apart of me anyway. I just want to rip myself apart and scream out drowning myself of my own thought.

I look over at josh and he just looks through my soul saying one thing, "I can't."

I wake up with a scream, I knew I was dreaming but I'm still scared.

I noticed as I'm panting on my bed out of breath, that Brendon had just walked in. He climbs on the bed with me and just holds me as tears fall down my cheek to my neck. No questions asked. He just holds me.

"Can't what Brendon? Can't fucking what?! What can he not fucking do?!" I yell thrashing my body as I rock back and forth in Brendon's arms.

"Shh shh Tyler it's a dream it's just a damn dream i promise you're okay." Brendon hushes me.

"Okay? Brendon it's not fucking okay! I need help! I need something! I just fucking need josh, God!" I say throwing a pillow. "Brendon why do I miss him so goddamn much!?" I say choked sobs escaping my mouth.

"Shh shh Tyler." Brendon says trying to soothe me.

"Brendon please don't ever leave me." I say.

"I-I uh, I p-promise Tyler." Brendon stutters, he hesitated too...somethings wrong but I choose to ignore it for now because I know if somethings wrong Brendon would tell me.

"I love you Brendon so much." I say hugging him tighter.

"I love you too Tyler So so so much." Brendon reassures.

***

Joshs POV

"Melanie what the hell do i do oh my god." I say in fear.

"Josh what have you gotten yourself into?" She asks shaking her head.

"I just I-i love Alex so much i don't know what to do though Mel I'm in love with Tyler Jesus." I say throwing my hands in the air.

"Josh you were telling me like two weeks ago that Alex was 'the one', josh what happens if one day you want to marry Alex? What happens if one day you just want to marry anyone?!" Melanie asks.

"I don't know Melanie! I mean I don't want to marry Alex! Not yet I mean we just met!" I yell back.

"Have you ever thought about marrying Tyler?!" Melanie asks me, really looking at me this time for an answer.

But I fall silent.

"Josh?...have you thought about marrying Tyler?" She asks again. 

I still don't answer and if I already haven't made it obvious enough what my answer is I nod.

"Josh I don't even know what to say because I've seen the way you look at Alex but I've heard the tone in your voice when you talk about Tyler."

"I don't even know Melanie, God I love Alex so much but I can't get tyler out of my goddamn head. God Melanie he's just so perfect." I say scratching my head as it lays in between my knees shaking back and forth.

"Josh I don't even know what to say the whole situation is too conflicting I mean Tyler kicked you out of his house how do we know he still likes you?"

"Because he kicked me out for mine and his own good...maybe he's right anyway...maybe I should stay with Alex I mean we're in love." I say realizing the entire reason why Tyler shut me out anyway. Realizing I'm not even in love with Alex.

"I mean you aren't wrong, I don't see any other reason why you shouldn't stay with Alex like jeez I've seen the way he looks at you and he's in love." Melanie explains.

"And so am i...i should probably go apologize to him, i miss his feeling." I say. And it's true, I miss Alex so much already.

I rush out of Melanie's and into my car, I'm pretty sure I passed a red light but I made it home.

I open the door and find Alex surprisingly still there on the couch napping. He looks so peaceful and all. I walk up to him and sit next to him and kiss him awake.

"I'm so sorry I love you." I hug him, cupping his cheeks once again kissing him.

"Oh josh." Alex says kissing me. "I missed you."

"I missed you too I'm so sorry. I love you I love you." I say repeatedly kissing the side of his head.

Then I give Alex the longest kiss I've ever given to which i only stop because I need to breathe.

I lie on the couch cuddling with him and eventually we both fall asleep.

Tyler slips into my thoughts once again.

***