Pizza Boy ★ joshler {completed}

Chapter 21- reunited

He's almost as startled as I am.

He looks at me straight in the eye. Almost unimaginable.

It's almost as if time is slowing, and it's frozen still.

I try to speak but nothing comes out, it looks like the same thing is happening to him. But less intense like it is for me.

I feel like just slamming the door on him, but I actually can't move. I can hear my thoughts screaming do something, but it's almost as if I can see all of mine and Josh's memories through Josh's eyes. I'm staring right through them, unsure of what I'm capable of doing since there isn't much you can do when you can't move.

"Tyler." I hear barely escape Josh's mouth.

"I-" I stop myself, or at least my body stops itself. Considering all i can see now is black and the sound of my body thudding as it hits the floor.

"Tyler!" I hear before everything I can see is black and just a hole of darkness.

I wake up filled with no emotion. I'm in my bed, Josh in a chair on my side holding my hand looking at me as if I don't have eyebrows or something.

"Tyler, w-what happened to you?"

"I think I just fainted or whatever."

"That's not what I meant." He points to the bags under my eyes.

"I just I-"

"Tyler, you've gotten really skinny I think I should take you to the hospital."

"No!" I almost yell out. "Please Josh, don't take me there." I say tears almost forming.

There's nothing more that I hate than the hospital, the vibe that I get from it is too...perplexing.

"Tyler," Josh goes on, "I don't think I have a choice..."

"Josh if you still love me, you won't take me to the hospital."

It's almost as if we've both been defeated by each other.

Josh looks baffled, "what have you been doing the past few months?"

"I don't even know anymore." I say. Practically screaming 'help me' into Josh's eyes.

"Tyler, I just," his words slow down, "I'm so sorry for...what I did to you."

It took him almost 20 seconds for those words to process through his brain and out his mouth. It looked like he was taking his time on what to say.

I sit up lifting the sheets of the bed, looking down for my ripped up blue slippers I had on. Until I feel a rather cold hand push me back down til my head hit the pillow.

"Tyler I don't think you should get up at this point."

"Josh I have to-." I say before it happened.

His lips felt cold, freezing almost, against mine. They were chapped and faded, and he stripped me of breath. He shifts his lips ever so slightly and I let him go on, this feeling I'm getting is the best one I've had ever in months. Everything is being let go of, it feels like I've been gripping on to a rope, hard. I've been gripping the rope for months and months, my hands getting red and circulated with blisters and marks. I'm holding on and holding on, can barely even feel my hand anymore the pressure taking over. Until. I feel the once cold lips against mine feeling of desire, care, and overall...whatever word the opposite of depression is. The rope is unraveling, scratching against my hand as it's being let go of. Let go into darkness that I've felt for months, possibly all my life. A darkness filled with anxiety, depression, anything else that would keep me up at night scratching myself til I bleed, tears flowing down my face, unsure of my purpose and why I should stay alive. But then you feel the now warm lips that locks it all away to be thrown into a pit of nothingness and hate.