Me? A Model! I have 10 siblings!! (Lauren Cimorelli Fanfiction)

Ch.21 The Silence

What would you do if you just went through the most embarrassing moment of your life and the person you shared the moment with is waiting for you downstairs??

I would...well I would stay in the room until my body decays.

Or until I starve.

I knew I should get out of here considering it's not even my room, but gravity decided to work twice as hard today and I was stuck here.

I already said that eighty times in my head in the past few minutes.

Knock, knock.

I stood up in one swift movement, for I was previously sitting on the floor. Not really on the floor, but on Mia's amazing carpet.

"Hey, what's taking you so long??" asked Mia.

"Umm......Nothing. I'll be out in a sec."

"Okay then, I'm waiting."

Shit.

She was waiting. Isn't it my lucky day??

I reluctantly walked towards the door, one foot in front of the other. If Lisa saw me this way she'll surely tell me that I look like a baby learning how to walk. I placed my hand on the doorknob then opened the door.

"Finally!! And I thought I took so long to dress. You look gorgeous by the way."

"Thank you."

"Oh by the way, Jayden is here. I literally JUST found out. I was in the toilet doing....well what you do in the toilet, and when I got out,  I didn't even see him.  When I got out of the the toilet, I was in the living room all along and I just found him in the kitchen when I wanted to grab a drink. He has always been a fast driver. But anyways, I'm really sorry he's here. I really didn't want you to go through an awkward or heartbreaking moment."

An awkward moment that is now even more awkward because of what happened a few minutes ago.

"Nah, don't worry about it."

Mia doesn't have to worry, I was the one who has to worry till my blood runs cold.

"You don't even have to say hello, we could just leave."

"No, it's fine. A hello wouldn't do much trouble, would it??"

Mia smiled at me approvingly then we took the stairs together. The moment of extreme awkwardness and embarrassment has arrived.

Jayden was sitting on a couch in the living room, with his back facing us.

"Hello Jayden," I said, my eyes full of embarrassment.

His head instantly turned around and he looked at me with eyes that were.....were sad.

"Hey Lauren."

"Oookay, let's go Lauren. It's gonna be late soon."

We were heading towards the front door when Jayden said: "Wait!!"

I stopped dead in my tracks. Damn, tell me this isn't happening.

"Mia, can you please give us a moment??"

"Umm.......Lauren do you wanna talk or should we just leave??"

Jayden looked at her questioningly, he looked utterly confused.

"It's okay, I'll talk."

"Okay then, call me when you're ready. I'll be upstairs not listening or doing anything of the sort," and with that, she winked at me then left.

Now I'm left with him.

Alone.

"Look Jayden, if you wanna say something then go ahead because I have nothing."

"I'm sorry."

The reply surprised me. I expected him to say 'it's not my fault' or 'we can't be together' but all he said was- was...sorry. Just seeing how sad he was made all the anger that I previously felt just vanish.

"What??" I just blurted it out. Good job at making things less awkward, Lauren.

"I'm sorry about everything. I've been going through a rough time recently and it had prevented me from starting a relationship with anyone. Now, I know I can't blame it on that but I can tell you one thing Lauren, you are the first person who made me laugh, genuinely LAUGH since a really long time. And I know that doesn't explain anything with Veronica or why I'm pushing you away but it's a start, no it's the start, and if you're willing to listen then I can go on."

I didn't know what to say. I prepared for this, I've made a speech about every word I should say. It all just vanished from my mind. I couldn't remember a word.

"Don't bother," I said.

"What?!"

"I don't have to know. I'm going back home in about four days and after that, I'll never see you again. So, why bother, Jayden?? It won't work out for us."

I didn't expect myself to come up with that, I felt cold-hearted. No, I sounded cold-hearted, I felt miserable.

Jayden was surprised by my answer but didn't say anything. He looked as in deep thought for a while, and then said:

"Okay, I just wanted you to understand why I did what I did."

"You don't have to tell me. I don't want to know. Your personal life is your business. Not mine."

I felt like I was reciting this, it was clear of emotion and sentiment. But I had to do this. I keep letting people use me. I'm not gonna let that happen again. Ever.

He looked taken aback, but he instantly  recomposed his expression into nothing. His face gave away nothing.

"Okay then, good luck in the show."

He was so quiet and self-contained it made him look evil. I wish he shouted at me or fought back, because the silence that was between us said so much more. More hurt. More pain. More love.

And again, even though he wore no expression, his eyes looked sad.

___________

Hey guys, 

I'm sorry I haven't updated but I started school yesterday and I had to buy school supplies so yup - I've been keeping myself busy. And I'm sorry it's shorter than the usual but I kinda wanna start at a different point next chapter. Anyways, hope you like it.

Thanks y'all!!