A Voice Unheard - Part II: Poetry

What's Left?

I don't understand what went wrong or how there was even a choice to be made,

Because for me, only for good things I prayed,

The choice you made still leaves me dazed,

Even worse, how you moved on so unfazed,

I always knew from the time I was young that I am different,

But only after your choosing, did I full understand what that meant,

You made a choice based on your ease,

Such rubbish you said, what all you promised me,

Not one word of it was true,

Not even that ill-fated phrase "I love you"

Your asinine self-serving ways have left me cold and bitter,

I pray that I do not feel this way forever,

And how quickly you moved on to your new "best side",

Sometimes I forget you did all the wrong and it was you who lied,

Over and over again; each time I got angry yes, but I always forgave,

Through all your storms I tried to be brave,

Every time there is talk of love I cry,

Each time my heart begins to feel my brain denies,

Sending me back to my fearful cocooned existence,

You turned out to be just like everyone else,

I thought I was safe in your company,

And that II could remain there for all eternity,

That is how deep my feelings went,

And that's how much I have felt,

Sometimes in idle thought I think of her - Arya - such a beautiful name,

I will still have it all: I have not been beaten by your lousy game,

How much I wanted with you, and you promised me all of it,

But I was the problem right? Too unfit!

My face, my hands, my being far too different to be accepted,

So different that we had to be prevented,

That was the only solution you could see,

Only because among the other ideas it was the most easy,

Well your short-sightedness has a price; that price was me,

But I won't pay for your myopic decisions indefinitely,

Your cowardice knows no limit, evidence of your lacking character,

So what if I was diseased? You knew of all my problems when you promised me a happily ever after!

Lies! All lies!

Don't know why I even tried,

I opened up to you, building bridge after bridge for you to see my very core,

I knit you into the very fibres of my soul,

Giving you not a only a place of importance,

But also, sadly, a place of permanence,

How foolish of me?

The blindest stupidest person to ever be,

Our hearts never broke even; ah! But then again your heart never broke at all,

And it was silly old me who took the sole lonely fall,

I hope the choice you made serves you well,

For me it however it served me my emotional death,

For me in times of my despair,

Your image comes to me like an apparition in the night air,

Cause you were my greatest source of comfort,

Trusting you came to me without much effort,

Yes your face haunts me,

Someone I never want to see,

The beautiful thing is I still believe,

Being loved and in love is still a dream,

Maybe someday in the future it will be my turn to be happy,

With someone who truly appreciates all my sufferings enough to choose me,

Now all I feel is empty,

And I keep asking myself - What's left of me?