My Hockey Boy

Chapter 18

Haley's POV

I rolled over, reaching for Charlie but as I felt around my empty bed my eyes opened. I pushed the blankets back, swinging my legs out to the side. My feet padded across the carpet as I pulled a sweater over my body. But as I passed by the bathroom, I stopped in my tracks. Charlie stood there holding the one thing I never wanted him to find out about.

"You weren't supposed to see those." I spoke. Once he heard my voice he turned around quickly.

"Y-you're....w-why....how could you not tell me about this?" His voice started soft but began to rise at every word, the pills rattling in his hand.

I couldn't find the words to say. In that instant, my breath was knocked out of me and my voice was hidden.

"Charlie,"

"No! Why the fuck didn't you tell me about this?! How long have you been taking these?!"

"Charlie, just let me explain." I started, tears prickling my eyes as I blinked them away.

I jumped as his fist connected with the mirror. It shattered all over the floor and in the sink. Red began to cover his hand but he didn't seem to care. "Then what is it?! Huh! Speak up Haley because I want to know right now!" He began moving toward me, his voice still raised as I took a step back.

"Shut up! Shut up!" I turned to leave, my hands covering my ears but his voice continued behind me.

"No! I want answers Haley! Why the hell didn't you tell me about this?!" He grabbed my arm making me face him.

"Leave me alone!" I screamed back.

"What?" His voice lowered.

"I said leave me the fuck alone!" I shouted again, this time I escaped from his grip. Hurt crossing his eyes.

I quickly ran back to my room, shutting, and locking my door. My eyes betrayed me as the tears began to flow and I didn't expect them to stop. I hugged my knees to my chest, sliding down the wood door. I hated this. I hated crying. I hated lying to him. Most of all, I hated that feeling he had given me only moments ago. The feeling that I was actually frightened by him.

Charlie's POV

I ran my fingers through my hair. My eyes traveled to the broken mirror back in the bathroom. It was in this state because of me. I looked to my hand that was all cut up and bruised, some stray glass pieces still stuck to the skin. That look that was on her face when I yelled. Those words that left her mouth.

"Leave me alone!" They played over and over again in my head.

I knew I'd scared her and maybe lost her in that quick second. That was the last thing I ever wanted to happen. But I couldn't believe she wouldn't have told me about this. That she's depressed. How long has she been like this? Did I do this to her? Of course not. I couldn't have. Right? She always seems so happy when we're together. So how could a girl like her be depressed in any way?

Nothing was making sense to me. I love her. I love her so fucking much. I've just been too much of a pussy to actually admit it to her sooner. So to find out that she's in this state of depression sickens me. I don't even know how bad it is. How long has she been dealing with this? It makes me want to help her every step of the way until all that's left of this is a bad memory. But after the way she looked at me. After those three words. After the way I lost my temper. I knew I couldn't do that.

I walked to her bedroom door. Before my fingers tapped to knock on it, the sounds of her crying stopped me. I'd done this. I'd caused my beautiful girl to cry.