My Hockey Boy

Chapter 40

Haley's POV

Charlie was standing in the middle of my room. I watched him intently as he moved to pick up the little nick-nacs and collectibles I had littering my shelves. Barely a second later, he would set one down and move on just picking up and putting down.

"I'm sorry." He finally spoke up.

"What're you sorry for?" I furrowed my eyebrows, taking steps closer to him till I was standing behind him.

"Everything." Charlie said, confusing me even more.

"I don't understand." I shook my head.

"How can you not get it?" His voice raised as he turned to me. "They're dead because of me!" Charlie shouted as I took a step back.

"Charlie, just calm down." I tried to soothe him as he started pacing, running his fingers through his hair. He was on the verge of tears and I could see it. A mix of anger, hate, and loss.

He stopped pacing, laying his forehead on one of the walls of my bedroom. His hand hit the drywall with a thud before he turned, his back sliding down until he hit the floor.

Charlie's breath was short and quick. All of those bottled up emotions he had were finally surfacing.

I cautiously moved towards him again. This time kneeling by his side.

"It's ok. Everything will be ok." I reassured as he stared at me before pulling me into him. I laid next to him, my head on his chest and his arms around me.

His breathing was now calm. Charlie had regained control. He was back to himself.

"Come on," I untangled my body from his, reaching my hand out again. "Sit with me?" He seemed reluctant at first but, again, took my hand.

I held both of his hands in front of me, gently squeezing them before bringing each one to my lips to kiss it.

"Charlie, you've always been the one taking care of me when I most need it. Let me take care of you for once." I told him, staring straight into his eyes as I leaned forward to press my lips to his.

Once we pulled away, I continued to hold his hand as I lead him to my bed. I sat down moving so my back hit the headboard as he took his place in front of me. I crossed my legs as he did the same. He reminded me of a younger, more innocent version of himself. Sitting there cross legged with a mind full of thoughts.

"Now," I started. "Tell me what's on your mind."

"A lot of things, Hales. Too many things. It's like these little voices in my head just yelling at me. And they won't stop." Charlie shook his head. I could understand now what he was feeling because I've dealt with the same things.

"I know, Charlie. But you just have to block them out. Focus on the good things." I told him, leaning forward so my hands rested on his knees.

"What if I can't? What if they take over?"

"They won't." I laid my hand on his cheek, placing my lips on his again. "Focus on this, right here." I said to him, resting my forehead on his.

Charlie sniffled slightly, breathing deeply in and out before pulling away. "Look, I'm sorry for putting all this on you. I just couldn't keep driving around in that car and then I couldn't go home without being reminded of them." He moved to lay down to the left of me.

I shook my head, "Don't apologize."

"Thank you."

I smiled, leaning over his face before placing a kiss to his forehead.